Watching Rainbows

I'm a loser ... and not in a good way

2011-11-29T08:54:00.003-05:00

No theme. No song. Just me admitting to you that I stepped off the wagon, BIG time.

Weight

I am steady at 192 .. I need to lose at least 40 lbs by next June, I'd really like to lose 50. I can not be fat in Hawaii. If I'd stayed on plan I'd only be about 20 lbs away by now ... but now I still have my big goal in front of me.

1/2 Marathon Training

I'm only running about once a week. However, I'm really proud of my progress there at least. I'm up to running (or jogging) without stopping for 25 minutes. That's most of a 5k for me, so that's pretty exciting. However, I've got to get going on the longer runs, I've only done 5 miles twice and by this point I need to be doing 7 or 8 miles total.

What Happened?

I don't want to make excuses but a lot of it is time related. Work has been busy, school is always looming in the background behind being a wife and mom. But, I know, in the end that none of those are really good enough reasons. I need to find a way to schedule my time better. I don't like to run with Jude in the jogging stroller because I'm too worried about him to focus on my stride, so I have to wait until Martin is home, the problem with that is that once we both make it home from work, it's well past dark ... We've talked about joining a 24 hour gym, and that may be the solution. I don't know how running on the treadmill will be against running outside. I wonder if it might be easier? I dunno.

Where I am

So, that's where I am. Where I was last time. I've got nothing but the hope that I counted my points yesterday, and, even though I've been terrible for the last month, I pretty much started back this week at 2 lbs up from where I was when I fell off (at one point I was 7 lbs up, so I'm thankful I was able to get that in check!) I'll update next week with my graphic and theme and all that fun stuff, but for now, here's me, admitting that I've failed. And I want to do better.

(In other news Jude is now 18 months. I'm waiting on the 18 month photos we did on Sunday to be finished and then I'll blog about how amazing he is and all the wonderful things he does! I love being his mommy!)

Hawaii 5-0 Week 3 & 4

2011-09-19T23:23:00.004-04:00

I'm too tired to find a Beatles song ... I had one then realized I'd just used it. You get the point. :)

Sorry I let you all down last week and didn't get around to posting an update. I guess that's why I decided to stay the same for this week (so I lost 1.4 last week). Yeah, me not posting had nothing to do with the fact that last week I tracked horribly, only ran once, and ate Wendy's, I believe, 3 times.

I let myself down. Thankfully, I fixed it enough to not have a gain and I'm back on the right track again today. I know these ups and downs are going to happen, but I've got to be super on track this week because this is wrapping up my first month of losing weight again and I'm only down 3.8 lbs for the last three weeks. That's less than two pounds a week and that's not going to cut it if I'm going to make it through vacation, holidays, and birthdays!

Last week I let myself down. This week, I'm just going to pick myself up and just keep going.

In other news, I've fallen IN LOVE with Pinterest. It's an amazing little website and it's got me super motivated all over the place!

Peace out everyone! I WILL BE SKINNY IN HAWAII *or you know, healthy. :)

Don't Let Me Down (On Babywearing)

2011-09-06T22:50:00.000-04:00

Jude @ 3 Months in Charlotte, NC 2010.

I'm in love for the first time. Don't you know it's gonna last. It's a love that lasts forever, It's a love that has no past. Don't let me down, don't let me down.
-- Don't Let Me Down, The Beatles

I had no idea before I met you how much of a "crunchy" Mom I'd be. Before I knew you were on the way I knew nothing of slings and cloth diapers and breastfeeding. I just knew that I couldn't wait to be your Mom.

But, the minute I saw you I knew I couldn't put you down. So, when Dr. Sears said, "Wear your Baby," I decided that I wanted to do just that. I got a bright orange Moby Wrap and learned how to manipulate the fabric so that I could hold you close. Fittingly enough it was called the "kangaroo hold" and it made a little pouch for your sweet little bottom to snuggle into. It was so special.

And, as you grew, I realized that I loved having you close at hand while I worked from home (or in the office) and I learned how to move you around so that if you were hungry I could nurse you and still get things done as a full-time mom and a full-time working mom. I bought a couple other carriers, the ring sling, a front-carrier, all to carry you around!


Mom & Jude @ Disney World 2011

Jude and Dad @ Uptown Charlotte, 2011

Jude's Dad and I both learned that taking a baby carrier to the theme parks was a lot easier for standing in line than the stroller, so we would wear you around Disney World and Seaworld and Universal, you became a theme park world traveler.

Then you got bigger, and I didn't know what to do. I researched, do I have to let you down now? But, I found a carrier called the Ergo that goes up to 45 lbs and I thought, well, why not try it out. And you still LOVE it. I didn't know how you would feel riding around on my back as we walked along the streets of downtown on vacation, but I knew you were loving it when I turned you around and you fell right asleep!

Uptown Charlotte 2011

I love wearing you around and I'm going to be really sad when the day finally comes that you want to be even more independent and don't want Mommy to hold you close.

But, till that day comes, I've got you wrapped up in my arms for as long as I can and for now, my sweet Jude, I won't let you down.

Same spot as last year on vacation in Charlotte. May how you have changed!

I'm Looking Through You (Hawaii 5-0 Week 2)

2011-09-06T21:59:00.006-04:00

"I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same"
-- I'm Looking Through You, The Beatles

Well, this was a pretty good week for the challenge! As you can see by the graphic I lost 2.4 pounds this week, and that is with going to North Carolina for a Labor Day weekend trip to see friends.

I have to say I'm really proud of myself. I managed to also get my three runs in and so I'm on track for training for the 1/2 Marathon.

For this post I decided to use the lyrics from "I'm Looking Through You" because I really do feel like this time, I've really changed. I actually feel GOOD about trying to lose weight and exercising. It just seems that my mindset has totally changed and now I'm in a place where I know that I can am going to pull this off and lose for good! So, to motivate myself even further, I found a t-shirt that Martin's dad picked up for me in Hawaii right before I had Jude. By the time I got it, I was way to pregnant to even try it on! Then it didn't fit for a while after that! However, it fits now, even if it's a bit tight, and I've asked Martin to take my photo each week after my run to post here with me wearing it. It's just another graphic representation of letting you look through me and see that I have changed!

Thanks for taking the journey with me!

Hawaii 5-0 (Mom @ 15 Months Post-Partum)

2011-08-30T22:44:00.007-04:00

She's so heavy. She's so heavy, heavy, heavy.
— I Want You (She's So Heavy), The Beatles

Here's the blog post that I really didn't want to write, but it needs to be done. So here it is: I'm fat. Or as The Beatles sang

"She's so HEAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-Y."

I'd like to blame it all on getting pregnant and then the whole new mother, not paying attention, stuff that happens, but to be honest, I was fat before I got pregnant. I had let me weight creep up and up and up until when I did get pregnant I started out at an unhealthy weight. To be honest, it has been because I just didn't want to pay attention to it all. Since having Jude I have been wanting to lose all of the weight, but would get motivated and then lose motivation back and forth until I just ended up maintaining. So here's some background.

When I got pregnant with Jude I was 180. That's 40 lbs over my healthy weight range. At that point my thought was, "Well, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so why bother with trying to lose weight at this point." That probably wasn't the best plan. Then at my highest weight during pregnancy I got up to 226. So, not only was I 40 lbs overweight but the pregnancy added another 46 lbs to my body.

As you can imagine, I didn't feel that good. Right after having Jude I lost 20 lbs right off the bat. I nursed and I think that helped a lot and I think some of it was just natural lose from not carrying a kid around anymore! So, I sat at 206 for a while. Then I joined a weight loss group at my church, First Place for Health. I loved the group and the accountability that it gave me. I really looked forward to the meetings and sharing with one another. I lost another 22 lbs which got me down to 184. Then Martin and I decided not to do the class again for another 12 weeks, and I kept the weight off, but didn't lose anymore. That was at the end of May. Jude was now 1 years old, and I still wasn't even down to where I was before I got pregnant. I still had 4 lbs to go! So, I got a little discouraged and ended up gaining 10 lbs back over the summer. I had originally planned to do another First Place class, but my work schedule isn't allowing it, so really, now it's up to me to get motivated.

And that's where the Hawaii 5-0 Challenge comes in! In celebration of my 30th Birthday next year Martin and I are planning on going to Hawaii! I've always wanted to go and we actually have a couple of really amazing friends who live there, so we not only get to see the island, but also spend time with some folks who we have missed greatly in the past two years! We plan to go next June and, as I told Martin, "No one wants to be fat in Hawaii!" I just keep thinking about Lilo and Stich and how Lilo went around and took pictures of fat people ... I don't want to be that person on the beach! So I've set the big goal for myself to lose at least 50 lbs before we go to Hawaii, but I also have some other goals to help pace myself. (Also, I was insanely motivated by Whit over here!)

1. Lose 15 lbs by Nov. 2011 and have completed the Couch to 5k program. I've actually been doing the Couch to 5k program for the last few weeks, and I'm just now on week 3, so this gives me time to miss a few days because of rain and laziness but still get it done by my first goal date. In conjunction to the running program I want to have at least 15 lbs off.

2. Lose 40 lbs by Feb. 2012 and complete the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon. If I lose 2 lbs a week until February I will actually be very close to goal, but I also know that Thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be in the mix, so I want to be realistic with myself and know that I could possibly mess up. As for the 1/2 Marathon I will have to really push myself from November to February but I know I can do it. I'm not looking to do anything record breaking at the event, but I at least want to run some of it. I did the Disney Wine & Dine 10k when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Jude and completed it, so I have no doubt that even at this point I could finish the race, but I want to do more than just finish, I want to be somewhere in the middle, instead of afraid the slow-poke bus is going to pick me up!

3. Lose at least 50 lbs by June 2012 and go to Hawaii! Like I said, if I'm really diligent I can probably lose the 50 way before June. If this happens, we will look at my goals and see how I feel. In all honesty I could probably lose 60-70 lbs which would get me somewhere around 120-130. But, I haven't seen those numbers since High School, and when I was 115-120 it was when I had been to Drum Corp and was working out 14 hours a day, so let's be real here. I think 143, for now, is a great goal weight. It's the number I'm working towards, and it's a weight that I would be happy with in Hawaii. We will be booking our trip probably in January and at that time I will be able to access if I'm really on track (hopefully, I will be WAY on track!)

My plan is to update you weekly on my progress ... so if you aren't interested in my progress if you see the Hawaii 5-0 logo, then you know to skip this blog! And, if you don't hear from me each week ... CALL ME OUT! If I'm not updating that means that I've fallen off the wagon and I need my friends to tell me to get back on it! :) I will also update on Jude (which we have a doctor's appointment today, so be looking for a Jude essay sometime this week) but I wanted to use the space that I already had on the net to update my progress instead of getting a new blog. And really, Hawaii is like the land of rainbows ... so what better way to Watch for Rainbows than from my healthy (skinny) self on Waikiki Beach?

Golden Slumbers (On God & Jude @ 15 Months)

2011-08-17T22:43:00.010-04:00

Golden slumbers fill your eyes. Smiles awake you when you rise. Sleep pretty darling do not cry. And I will sing a lullabye. — Golden Slumbers, The Beatles

My child does not sleep. He’s a sweet little 15-month-old who thinks sleeping through the night is for wimps. In fact, in his little mind, it’s not even necessary.

I have read every book, asked seasoned parents, and even thought about just letting him cry-it-out, alone in his room, but nothing seems to work. Our bedtime routine happens like this: Dinner time at 5:30, it’s usually something yummy like green beans with turkey or mashed potatoes with ham, followed by a tall glass of milk and maybe some yogurt for dessert. After filling his cute little tummy, it’s on to bath time where we sink a thousand rubber duckys into a pool of bubbles while dumping cups of water out of the tub onto the tile. Then it’s off to the nursery where we read “Goodnight Moon,” sing a special lullaby, and begin the rocking to sleep.

Now, all the parenting experts tell me that if I follow a steady routine, if we keep everything the same, then my little angel will slowly close his eyes and I’ll be able to lay him down in his crib, drowsy, but not asleep, and he will roll over and nod off on his own. From this point, I should expect him to sleep 10-12 hours while I go curl up on the couch with a good book and just relax.

What really happens? Well, I sit down in the rocking chair at about 6:30 (with hopes of drooping eyes by 7) and at first I enjoy the time together. I rock him and I whisper in his ear how much I love him. I pray over him and thank God for him and ask continuous blessings over his life. But then, 8:30 rolls around and I’m still rocking him … and I start to ask myself, what have I done wrong? He doesn’t really cry that much, he just stares up at me with those big blue eyes and I wonder … WILL THIS CHILD EVER FALL ASLEEP? I start to get impatient, I start to worry that he’s never going to sleep— Well, let’s be honest here — I get annoyed!

That’s right, I said it. I get annoyed at this sweet little angel who just stares at me, fighting sleep with every ounce of his small body, and I can tell he’s completely exhausted! Sleep is what he needs to do, but at this point he can’t figure out how to get it right. So, then I feel guilty. I think, how can I be mad at this kid? He’s not putting off sleep on purpose, it just not natural for him to fall asleep when there is so much around him to keep him distracted. The world is too exciting, and who wants to close their eyes when they think there might be something better out there than what Mommy has planned for the night! It’s at this point that I start to relax again and snuggle him close. And usually, just like that, he drifts off to sleep and I honestly feel like I could hold him forever.

What’s interesting is that now, as a parent, God is using my son to teach me about God’s love for me. God only wants one thing from me, for me to love God and to love others as I love myself. And I try. But the world, it’s out there … and there is so much to pull me away. So many things that I think is better than spending time with God, so much so that I don’t want to do what God has planned for me.

My God, my provider, makes sure I’m well-fed and taken care of … but still, there I am, starring back up at God, fighting mad, because things are not going the way that I want. At the end of the day I have failed at doing what God wants me to do. I’ve become exhausted by my sin, my fears, my doubts, and I don’t know how to get back to where I’m supposed to be.

But, God … he can’t be mad at me. God doesn’t leave me alone, or walk away and let me cry it out for a minute. He stays in the room, just like I do with my son. God rocks me slowly back and forth through the quiet words of scripture, sings me soft lullabies through songs that glorify his name, and reminds me, as I do my son, that I am loved. In the stillness, God lays me down carefully, as I do my dear Jude Wesley, and offers the weary … rest. And it’s in that quiet moment that I feel God release me from my sin, through grace, and I can finally relax. I can sleep … knowing that God will hold me forever.

* The photo above was taken when Jude was about 4 months old ... back when I dared sneak into his room when he was sleeping! : ) Here's a recent 15-Month-old photo of my wide-eyed boy!

Don't Ever Change (or Jude at 14 Months)

2011-08-03T00:32:00.005-04:00

So, please, don't ever change -- No, don't you ever change -- Just, promise me you're always gonna be -- As sweet as you are -- I love you when you're happy -- I love you when you're blue -- I love you when you're mad at me -- So how can I get tired of you? — Don't Ever Change, The Beatles

Today is my birthday. No, I didn't get around to writing about how special my baby boy is on his first birthday, but it's after midnight on what is now, my 29th birthday, and I couldn't be happier when it comes to being a mommy to my perfect little Jude.

The other night, as Jude's Dad and I were putting him to bed, Dad said, "Don't ever change," and I said, "Yes son, please be like we used to write in our high school yearbooks, 'Stay sweet, don't ever change.'" Although I'm glad I've changed since I penned those words in the blank pages of my peers annuals, I have to say that I really do wish that Jude wouldn't change at all.

But, he's already changed so much. He's much taller now and he has the sweetest, roundest most kissable tummy in the world. Sometimes I just grab him and kiss him all over and call myself the "kissy monster" in hopes that it's a boyish enough term that he will still let me do that when he's seven ... here's hoping.

His hair is growing long and Jude's Dad says we should cut it. It's blond as the sun is yellow with sweet tender curls resting on the nape of a adorable little neck ... I can't do it. Please let me have the sweet baby hair for just a little while longer. He takes his little hairbrush and he brushes his hair, then reaches up to try to tame the mess that I call my own hair. If only that child knew how lucky he is to be a boy, that when he's 13 and the curls don't work anymore, we can cut them off and it will actually look good. Unlike poor mom, whose hair at 13 was more like a white girl's fro!

He walks with purpose now, around the room, to his toys... OH LOOK! The dog left some food out ... he doesn't try to eat it. Just picks it up and returns it to the dog's bowl. My little helper already. Sometimes he walks around and spins in circles and stops, turns to me and runs over just to lay his little head on my lap. It's intoxicating how much I love this kid! He says "MOM" and "Ad-Dad" and sometimes "Awyer" to the pup, Sawyer, and sometimes "Book" and "Banana." He laughs constantly, he is, on most days an easy-going, charming, happy, little boy.

He's still got the bluest eyes I've ever seen and the gorgeous smile to go with them. We walk around the grocery store and he waves at all the little old ladies and says "hey" to each one as we walk by. He's a social butterfly with a big personality. He's the perfect mix of myself and his dad, and I can't get enough of his sense of humor. He already plays pretend with me ... picking at non-existent stuff on the floor and putting it up to his lips just to hear me say, "what do you got?" Then he smiles and I know it was "just for fun, Mom!"

I'm so in love with this child that I can hardly see straight! I have loved spending lots of time with him this summer, and my heart breaks a little to know that I won't be able to spend as much time with him the next few weeks.

But God blessed me with a summer of Jude and Mommy time, and I am eternally grateful ... for my little boy will change, as much as I beg him not to ... but for now, I get to hold him close, brush that soft hair off his forehead and just breath in that sweet baby smell for just a little while longer.

Jude's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 1st Birthday (A Party Blog)

2011-07-06T13:13:00.018-04:00

"The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ... Come inside, it's fun inside!"

No Beatles song here ... this time it's all about the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! We celebrated Jude's Hot Diggity Dog 1st Birthday Party on May 29, 2011 and we had a fantastic time!

We did the big event in Arkansas, so that took a little planning on my part since we were all the way down in Florida, but overall I think it went over pretty well. I rented a pavillon at Lake Degray and it was simply beautiful!

I Googled many party blogs for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and came across lots of ideas. I decided for us I wanted to do something kind of laid back but still with an overall theme. So, the first thing to decide was the food. Of course, we had to have hot dogs, but what else would work. I like the idea of alliteration for each food so we went with the foods below.

ClaraBell's Cupcakes. I'd like to tell you I made them ... but I didn't! It was Memorial Day Weekend, so I wanted to sort of tie-in the Red, White, and Blue so these cupcakes were perfect from Sam's. I just bought the Mickey Mouse Cupcake toppers to put-on them and it worked great! I also found this Mickey Mouse Cupcake stand for the win!

Donald and Daisy's Dip, nothing surprising here just some knock-off Ruffles and Ranch Dip.

I was on a Trail Mix kick anyway, so Minnie's Mix was Sam's Mountain Mix ... my favorite. :)

Martin (the husband) loves some humus and pita bread. We figured Pete would like it too ...

Yes, those are Mickey Mouse Clubs. We bought pre-made Subs at Wal-Mart and cut them in fourths. They were a huge hit!

I didn't get a good photo of the dogs, but here's one of Jude eating his first one!

Of course, it wouldn't be a party without a birthday cake! I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out what type of cake I wanted for Jude's birthday. Did we want Mickey Mouse? The Clubhouse? I sort of thought it might be kind of morbid to EAT Mickey Mouse's head and the Clubhouse was so elaborate. So, I decided that instead we would have ...

OH TOODLES! That's right, we got this great cakemaker in Arkansas to make Jude Toodles. Included was the "tools" the help Jude succeed. The Dinosaur was for his little sit & ride dino he has, the puppy was for Jude's dog Sawyer and then the learning toys are kind of self-explaining. :) I think she did an amazing job on the cake, it came out exactly how I imagined it!

Here's Jude after a few bites of his cupcake ... he wanted to know if Mommy wanted any! : )

I don't know how I didn't get a picture of it ... but inside "Goofy's Goodies" was homemade Mickey Mouse shaped Rice Crispy Treats. I'm so sad I didn't get a photo because I felt like they came out really good. The one advantage of living in Central Florida is that you know at least someone who has a lot of Disney stuff. Luckily it was Jude's babysitter who had a cookie pan that we were able to use to mold the treats into Mickey Ears. The bags were also filled with Mickey Mouse goodies that I bought from the store ... because I only have time for so much! : )

Finally, I made water-bottle labels and I'm attaching them here as well. Word of advice, don't use the sticker paper to adhere these ... they rub off in the water. Next time I'll use paper and packing tape. I downloaded the fonts for free and I also used the ears font to make the banner shown above for Jude's name.

Overall, I was was very please on how the party turned out. Jude had so much fun and I really enjoyed putting everything together. Though, I do hope next year to have a much smaller crowd to plan for (we had 68 people at this event)!

Here's a photo of Jude from his 1st Birthday photo shoot in his Memorial day wear ... just because I think my kid is cute! :)

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO JUDE!

Honey Pie -- Jude @ 10 Months

2011-04-12T18:06:00.003-04:00

"Oh honey pie my position is tragic ..." Honey Pie, The Beatles.

There are some things I just can't say out loud ...
when I can't my husband reveals my soul for me.

Click Here to read Martin's Account of Jude's Illness...

Mother Nature's Son (Jude @ 9 Months)

2011-02-21T14:36:00.005-05:00

"Born a poor young country boy — Mother Nature's son. All day long I'm sitting singing songs for everyone. Sit beside a mountain stream — see her waters rise. Listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies. Find me in my field of grass — Mother Nature's son. Swaying daises sing a lazy song beneath the sun. Mother Nature's son."
— Mother Nature's Son, The Beatles

He's so curious, this son of mine. Busy, busy, busy as he crawls around the room, pulling books from the bottom shelf one at a time. It's as if he's asking, "And what's this Mommy?" As he flips the pages and crinkles the words he isn't able to read yet.

This passion in his eyes. Passion I recognize from my own heart, being played out in a child that looks like his father but acts so much like his mother. His Daddy worries that he's too hyper ... this makes me laugh. Apparently the husband never noticed how curious his wife can be!

I can't wait to take him more places to explore. This weekend we went to a small community (Winter Park) in downtown Orlando. He loved it. I wore him in my wrap and people smiled and waved and talked to him. He's loves being on the same level. The stroller is nice, but when it's just us walking around I love the feel of him heavy on my back and shoulders, reminds me of the long nine months I spent carrying him just so that he could arrive and I could carry him some more. It's been nine more months since the day he was born and I'd carry him forever if I could.

But, he is growing and won't stop. He's standing now and letting go just long enough to know that he can. Walking is not far away now. I can see it in those eyes. Just one step Mommy. Then one more. Until the day will come when the curiosity will win and those two steps will turn to five, ten, until he's off ... pulling the books from the top shelf down to explore the pages that before long he won't need me to read to him.

All You Need is Love (Jude @ 8 Months)

2011-02-08T13:38:00.005-05:00

"There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game It's easy. There's nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time - It's easy." All You Need is Love -- The Beatles

His smile is contagious! Every time I look at him he's grinning ear to ear. I stop, stare for a minute ... he starts to laugh. This is the joy of my baby boy. This is the one who makes my world go 'round. Maybe I've made some mistakes in the past, worked too long of hours at work, didn't prioritize enough to get home before his bedtime ... but he doesn't care. He just smiles and smiles and smiles. Because Mommy is home.

He reaches for me now, when he's smiling and when he's crying. It's such a weird feeling, this feeling of being needed, wanted, by someone so small and so precious. His love stretching out in little arms and little waving fingers as he stares up at me with blue eyes as deep as the ocean that I haven't had the chance to take him to yet.

He's growing like a weed, I can't keep up with him. One minute he rolls over, the next he's crawling. He stops and sits and claps for himself, because Mommy and Daddy have taught him that he has done good. He is good.

I can't imagine a day without him. I cry sometimes because I don't want to leave him. He is mine. It is no doubt that I am his.

I am Mommy, Mama, Mom, one day he'll learn that I am also wife, daughter, aunt, sister, manager, Mary.

But today, when I go to pick him up, I will be Mommy and I will be rewarded with a smile.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da -- Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T22:52:00.005-05:00

"In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home, With a couple of kids running in the yard, Of Desmond and Molly Jones ... Happy ever after in the market place ... Molly lets the children lend a hand ... Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face ... And in the evening she's a singer with the band ... Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah! ... Lala how the life goes on ... Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah! ... Lala how the life goes on."

I know I haven't blogged in a while but hopefully this video will recap the past few months! We have had such an amazing year and I am so thankful for all the gifts God has blessed us with in 2010! Here's to an amazing 2011! (I'll try to do better at updating in this next year!)

2010 from Martin Downey on Vimeo.

Little Help From My Friends

2010-09-08T06:28:00.001-04:00

Take Good Care of My Baby (or Jude @ 12 weeks)

2010-08-18T15:41:00.007-04:00

"Take good care of my baby, be just as kind as you can be!"
-- Take Good Care of My Baby, The Beatles

So, after 12 wonderful weeks home with my baby I went back to work on Monday. Boy! Was that hard! After finishing college and all that good stuff I didn't think I would ever want to be a stay at home Mom, but really I think I could do it. Too bad our budget would never allow that, so I'll just keep plugging away (thankfully I enjoy my job so it's not totally bad!)

I've got a great schedule that seems to be working out, I will get to spend Fridays with Jude so that's pretty amazing. I'm also able to leave for lunch and visit him at the babysitters (which is a GREAT friend of mine who is doing a wonderful job with him). This works out well because I, at least, get to nurse him once during the day so that keeps him and my supply happy. I know that I couldn't be more lucky with this arrangement and I realize that it's a blessing. But to do this I am pulling 10 hour days at work (with the lunch break) which makes me very tired. It also means that I have to be UP at 5 a.m., which I am not that much of a morning person! It also means that Jude has to get up early too, which means he sleeps more at night which is good, but also bad because I'm not getting to spend very much play time with him. I'm hoping that having the Fridays with him will make up for that though.

I am tired though! I hope that my body will get used to this new routine and I will be able to handle it as the weeks go on. But the good news is I have a few vacations coming up so those will be fun to anticipate and look forward to.

Development wise, Jude is doing really really well! He is growing stronger and stronger, he likes tummy time most of the time and is ALREADY trying to get up on his knees, way too soon if you ask me! He also enjoys staring at himself in the mirror, and playing with his Daddy. He busts the biggest smiles now and any day now I know he will be laughing (he's trying really hard!) He also squeals and coos when playing (which you might have seen on the video!) On the breastfeeding front things have been going very well. We have finally gotten all that under control and though I still count it as one of the hardest things I've ever had to figure out how to do, I'm glad that I did! We have a doctor's appointment next week and as always I'm nervous about his weight. But, I know it will be all right!

As for me I've been trying to get some of this pregnancy weight off (and pre-pregnancy weight!) and have been doing Weight Watchers. I love the WW plan because it has a special plan for nursing mothers. I've lost about 5 lbs, not too shabby but I need to get off much much more!

On the picture front there are some July photos here, but nothing too recent. I'll get on taking some more photos in the next few weeks and posting. Also our friend Rose is going to do family photos for us soon, so I'm REALLY looking forward to that!

My Little Sleeping Angel!

One of our first smiles (July 27, 2010)

In his fourth of July gear!

Jude LOVES his playgym!

He also loves playing "patty-cake" with Daddy

And looking at himself in mirrors! :)

Another playgym, I love to watch him stare down the rocket and then hit it!

My pretty blue-eyed boy!

"Little Child" (Jude on and his Play Gym)

2010-08-06T14:44:00.001-04:00

"Little child, little child, little child won't you dance with me!" -- "Little Child," The Beatles

Lady Madonna (On Breastfeeding)

2010-06-29T21:13:00.008-04:00

"Lady Madonna, baby at your breast, Wonders how you manage to feed the rest!" -- The Beatles

This is one of those posts that if you aren't into TMI, I'd stop reading now. It's all about breastfeeding and the ups and downs that come along with it. First all, I don't care what the La Leache league says, breastfeeding is hard (not that they don't acknowledge that, it's just you don't hear it enough). Now, there may be women out there who had it easy but for Jude and I it has been one thing after another. However, I REALLY wanted to breastfeed my kid so even though it's not easy I've been working really hard to make it happen. I don't even know where to begin. But I somehow wanted to blog about this because it's been such a huge deal for us to get through (and we aren't through it all yet!).

I realize that Jude and I had some upsets at the beginning, he lost weight, we had to do formula for a while, then he didn't gain enough still and then I had to do MORE formula and each time I was on the urge of just quitting. But, I was still making BM so I didn't want to stop because I felt like, "If I'm making it, he should be getting it." I've had long talks with my doctor, I've cried to my husband, and I spent $150 on a Lactation Consultant to reteach me how to breastfeed my kid. Can I say that it's worth it? I don't know yet.

People are SO passionate about breastfeeding. Last weekend I took Jude out with us to Macaroni Grill and went to change him in the bathroom. As I was wiping my kid's butt some random woman comes up to me and asks if I'm breastfeeding. This is when I was doing formula with Jude because we were still working on weight gain and so I said, "We are working on it." Then this random woman, without knowing jack about my situation informs me that "You should breastfeed, even if it hurts." Okay, problem #1 with this statement -- Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. If it hurts you are doing something wrong. Problem #2 with this statement -- Who the hell are you to tell me what to do with my child? Are you my pediatrician, are you his mother? If I want to give my kid formula then that's my decision, and really none of your business what I do. Even though I am pro breastfeeding I would NEVER inform a random stranger what they should do with their kid. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It was almost enough to make me NOT try breastfeeding again after I got the go-ahead from my doctor to do so.

Here's something else about breastfeeding. It's time consuming. Let me tell you, making a bottle is so much easier for several reasons. Reason #1 -- it takes two minutes to make a bottle, for me to breastfeed it's a big production, I have to get the boppy ready, I need to get the nipple shield (which helps me breastfeed Jude because my breasts are a bit "inefficient"), I have to get Jude positioned just right and then constantly keep him awake to get him to nurse for 30 minutes on each side. With a bottle he can have it down in about 15 minutes (3 ozs no less, with me it takes almost an hour to get 2 ozs in him!) Reason #2 -- You know how much your kid is eating. Because I am so paranoid about Jude's intake I worry about how much he eats when bf-ing. Currently I have rented a scale from my lactation consultant that I can weigh him before and after so that I can be sure he's had enough. But, I have to give that scale back tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous about it because I'm SO scared he will lose weight again. I don't trust my instincts as much when it comes to nursing, so the bottle calms my nerves a bit. Reason #3 -- Pumping is time consuming too. Not only do you have to nurse but afterwards it's good to pump for 10 minutes, or if I chose to give Jude a bottle of expressed milk, I have to pump to make up for the lack of nursing session and keep my supply up.

Now, I don't want to discourage anyone out there to not breastfeed. I'm still doing it even though it overwhelms me because I feel like it's the right thing to do for my kid. However, I don't think people are completely honest about the challenges of breastfeeding when you read about it in books and on the internet. Everyone makes it seem like everything will just come naturally and you and your kid will be totally satisfied. This IS not the case for everyone. I think it's good for people to know that breastfeeding can come with all kinds of problems. Problems they don't tell you about in the books, problems they don't talk about on the internet unless you REALLY search for it. However, I have found one place of support, Kellymom.com. This site has been amazing on resources for breastfeeding and all the problems that can come along.

I know this is a decision that is deeply personal with each mother and breast or bottle, every kid is going to grow up just fine! I think sometimes we forget that when reading all this stuff and talking to others. I'm not going to judge anyone for not breastfeeding their kid. And, I'm going to be jealous of those mothers that breastfeeding came easy to, trust me it doesn't work like that for everyone! I wanted to breastfeed, and with A LOT of work, I have been able to do so. But, did I give my kid 2 ozs of formula last night because he was fussy and I was stressed and scared? YES! Am I ashamed of that decision? NO! If anything, with this blog post I just want people to feel supported if they are struggling with breastfeeding and to let them know that you are not alone! I have felt so alone in this process because there were very few people who understood what I was going through. Thankfully I have a core group of friends that I was able to share these feelings with and knew it was a "no judgment zone!" I needed that and I thank them for reading my weepy e-mails and listening to me cry over the phone! My husband has been super supportive, even though I think he feels going to formula would be easier, he understands this is important to me so he has worked really hard to support me.

So, there's my rant about breastfeeding. I'm going for it! It's not easy, and I'm not even sure at this point if I can tell you if it's worth it or not. But, it's what feels right for us right now ... who knows what tomorrow will bring! :)

Now some photos from the past few weeks!

Bath time!

"I'm thinking ..."

Jude's first visit to Home Depot

Landon (Annie A's little one, and Jude)

Chillin' on the Boppy.

My boys hanging out for tummy time.

More tummy time!

Of course! :)

I love hugs!

Watching Rainbows

2010-06-06T19:15:00.000-04:00

So, it's been about a year since I changed the domain name of this blog and it's time to change it again! The blog is going to go more about parenting and Jude and all that fun stuff so I wanted to do something a little more in that direction. So, the blog has a new name and domain (www.watchingrainbow.com). If you are using google reader you shouldn't have to update your reader if you had the blog subscribed as martinandmarydowney.blogspot.com. If you read from Facebook you shouldn't have to do anything.

One of the things I would like to do is use a Beatles song for each post. Most of you know we are huge Beatles fans, and I plan to at least if it involves Jude, to have a Beatles song as the name of the post -- including this one. Here is a rare recording of the Beatles song "Watching Rainbows."

Hope you enjoy the new blog! : )

A Day in a Life -- Photo Shoot

2010-06-06T15:43:00.006-04:00

Before Mom went home we had her help us do a quick photo shoot with Jude. Overall we took 125 photos, these are the ones I liked the best.

It's been a Hard Day's Night

2010-06-05T10:38:00.008-04:00

So, where to begin for the past week? It's been craziness to be sure. Jude is such a good little baby he hardly ever cries and I am so blessed to have such a mild-mannered kid. But, the last few days have been a bit trying for us anyway. You see Jude got a bad case of jaundice and we didn't realize it until Tuesday because of the holiday on Monday. I know that a lot of babies get jaundice but it hit me really hard because his main problem was that he wasn't getting enough calories from my breastmilk so he was really concentrated with bilirubin (a natural chemical that is broken down by the liver, but babies livers aren't strong enough yet and so they can get jaundice if too much is in their bodies). We had a whirlwind of a few days of feeding him breastmilk every two hours and when that didn't work because he was still losing weight we moved to formula every two hours. Most of the time doctors make you put the baby in the hospital or have you place the baby in sunlight, but Jude's problem was more with eating, he HAD to gain weight! He was really weak and of course I felt horrible because I didn't figure out that breastfeeding him wasn't giving him enough fat and calories to make him gain weight. As of Thursday he had gained back some weight (but still not to his birth weight, he's close though) and last night we were told we can give him formula and then breastmilk that I had been pumping the last few days. The whole experience was heartbreaking and we got very little sleep. I had a little breakdown on Wednesday night (probably from lack of sleep and the stress of it all) and basically Mom and Martin forced me to go to sleep. I literally had to cry myself to sleep because I was so worried. However, he's doing amazingly better and will be going back to the doctor on Monday. I hate that I have to wait a day and a half to get his next test results, I wish doctor's offices were open on the weekend!

I can tell Jude is feeling much better though because we can get him to eat more now without having to force it down his throat! I'm doing much better because I see that my boy is growing healthy and strong again! Mom goes home to Arkansas today and I can't even say how blessed we have had to have her help! I don't think I could have gotten through the last few days without her here pushing me and helping me! I've got some really big shoes to fill when it comes to being a Mama.

In other news yesterday (June 4, 2010) marked the dating anniversary of Martin and I! We have been a couple for 9 years now! It's amazing to see how the time flies! When we started out we would have never thought that 9 years later we would have a sweet little baby boy, but I tell you what, I couldn't imagine my life any other way! It's been an amazing 9 years with the love of my life, and I can't wait for 70 or so more years! :)

So that's it for now. Martin and I have been trying to get a photo a day of Jude but we missed one the day that he was the sickest because it was not (obviously) our top priority. We have already gotten back into the habit so I have photos to show off!

I wanted to start early on story-time. Jude loved hearing his Daddy's voice read to him!

Jude is really going to miss his Memaw when she goes home!

Jude's first visit to Pure Magic, the best ice cream on Earth! I can't wait until he gets to try some himself!

Sawyer is still getting to know Jude.

Wooooo Piiiiiiiggggg Sooooooooie!

This outfit came from Jude's Grammy (Martin's Mom). It was the first outfit bought for him!

I'm neurotic and try to theme Jude all day, so if he starts in outerspace wear, he ends in it. Here's his rocket ship pajamas!

Today's theme? Dinosaurs. : ) Martin and Jude love to snuggle together, it's too sweet!

Hey Jude!

2010-05-31T14:12:00.025-04:00

Jude is finally here! I have SO much to say and so many pictures to share! But, I'll try to not ramble on too much and just give you the facts about my little perfect little boy!

To the Hospital:Here we are, our little family before Jude, on Wednesday morning May 26. I was nervous going in but I knew that by the end of the day our little boy would be here and so it calmed my nerves a little bit. We ended up getting to the hospital a little late because I was moving so slow, but thankfully they still let us in! : )

Hospital Time:
So, here I am after we got all checked in. They would only allow Martin back in the room with me so he took this shot, my last pregnant belly shot with Jude. Having a scheduled c-section still doesn't prepare you for how scary it all is. At least when you go into "labor" there isn't time to really think about the "What ifs" but sitting there I was nervous and scared and afraid of everything that could go wrong in a c-section. They did come in to do a ultrasound and he was still breech, so everything was a go. My doctor was running late too, so they pushed the c-section back to 12:30, even more time to worry. However, at 12 they brought Martin his scrubs and we got ready to go back to the room.

The Birth:
They don't allow anyone in the OR during the spinal block so it was just me and my nurse (side note: our two nurses were Joan (my mom's name) and Kay (Martin's mom's name), weird right?) and the anesthesiologist (Dr. Stoner, no lie) and the assistant (Kim). Kim actually administered the block and I was super nervous. I tried not to cry from the nerves but I couldn't help it, however it was more nerves than pain because honestly the thing didn't hurt at all. Very similar to the feeling you get from a tattoo. The first prick hurts then it just goes numb. After the block they began to get me ready for the surgery. I couldn't feel anything, so that was really good. I was scared the block wouldn't work and they would have to put me to sleep. So, even though I had wanted a natural birth and wanted to feel everything, in this instance I was relieved! Once they had be all draped and ready to go my doctor came in. I was a bit annoyed that country music was playing on radio, though on the radio at first was Garth Brook's "Unanswered Prayers" so that was kind of sweet. Dr. M got started right away and they went to get Martin. I told Kim to make sure Martin didn't see anything when he came in so when he came in the door she was great, she looked at him and said "EYES ON ME." Martin made it up by me and didn't see anything that could have made my poor husband pass out! I vaguely remember that the song on the radio right BEFORE Jude was born was some Toby Keith song and I remember thinking ... "God, please don't let the first thing my son hears when he comes into the world be Toby Keith!" Thankfully, that song went off right before we heard Jude's cry and that was such music to my ears that I didn't even pay attention to what was on next!

They took Jude over to be cleaned up and Martin followed. This part I didn't like very much because it seemed like forever before I could touch him! I really wanted to at least touch him before they did all the testing and stuff, but it just didn't happen and I'm okay with that because I knew he was healthy. They weighed him and did his measurements (7 lbs, 19 inches) and I swear I heard his APGAR Score at 9.9. After that they let Martin bring Jude over to me and I was able to kiss him and touch his cheek. He was so perfect, though the thing I kept noticing while they cleaned him us was "Man, he has really big feet!" The good news for the grandparents was that the OR had a viewing room that they could only see the baby and my face, so Mom and Martin's parents got to see Jude about the same time I did!

After letting me touch the baby and we took a few pictures (thanks to Kim again) the nursery nurse had Martin carry Jude back to the recovery room to wait on me. Dr. M said a few things to me saying it went good and then the nurses worked on getting me ready to head to recovery. Martin said that while he was waiting the nurse just left him and Jude alone for 15 minutes and they just snuggled, he said Jude didn't cry once.

Once I got back to recovery I was finally able to hold Jude. I waited like 3 minutes then I asked if I could try breastfeeding. Joan the nurse said, "Don't be such an overacheiver," apparently she doesn't know me very well. :)

We were in recovery with Jude for about an hour and a half then they moved us to our room. It was still another hour before they allowed the grandparents to come back but during that time it was all Martin, Jude and me. I was amazed at how hands off the nursing staff actually was, but more on that in a minute. Finally the grandparents got to come back and meet Jude for the first time.

I can't tell you how amazing it was to finally get to hold my little boy, it made all the waiting so worth it!

First Night/Day 1:
The first night was pretty tough, I'm not going to lie. Even though we had already tried breastfeeding, Jude was having a hard time with it because he had so much mucus left in his system from the c-section. We had a great lactation consultant that kept checking on us and a great nurse who literally burped my kid for 30 minutes trying to get all that stuff out of him. The nursing staff was pretty hands off when it came to checking on us though once we finally got Jude eating. So from the hours of 2-6 a.m. was really overwhelming because Martin and I were so tired! However, by the time the sun came up I was already feeling better about the night and Jude was sleeping like a log! I think for me, it was just hard because I couldn't get up and help Martin. I'm comfortable with babies and have helped take care of newborns before, but this was Martin's first time! I have to say, my husband is simply amazing! He did an outstanding job and he was rewarded by getting to go home and sleep a few hours and my Mom stayed for Day 2/Night at the hospital.

Day 2/Second Night:Either Jude was in a great mood and feeling so much better or my mom is the baby whisperer (I'm leaning toward the second) because night two was so freakin' easy. Jude only woke up to eat or be changed and mom snuggled him while I let the pain killers do their job and got some much needed sleep. By the time Martin got to the hospital the next day I was up and had talked my doctor into letting me go home! Jude had his circumcision too and was looking really good.

Going Home:
Well, we got Jude in his carseat, the one that I had just had inspected and knew that he was perfectly safe in as we drove away and was feeling good. Martin asked me if I wanted to take Osceola Parkway or 192. At first I said 192 because there is this wicked bumpy bridge on Osceola Parkway and I thought it might hurt but then I thought ... "Ugh, tourist on 192, I don't want some stupid tourist to run into us looking for Disney World," so we went Osceola Parkway. Jude was asleep and was doing very good in the car and we were just about home when some jerk decides to rear-end us at a yield sign, literally 10 minutes from the house! Of course I jump out of the car like a maniac, ready to KILL this man who wasn't watching where he was going! Mom was sitting in the backseat with Jude and she said his carseat didn't even move! There was no damage to the cars, no one was hurt but I still wanted to call 911 and an ambulance. Everyone talked me out of it, though I STILL would like the guy to have gotten a ticket for bumping us. Of course, I was freaking out beyond belief, I couldn't stop crying, I was so worried that Jude would have some internal injury that we wouldn't know about, but really Martin assured me that we went over speedbumps in the car harder than they guy bumped us. Mom was more worried about me because I had just jumped out of a car when I could hardly move! That's what adrenaline will do for you I guess! The upside to the whole thing was that it apparently got my "mama" hormones going because as soon as we got home and Jude nursed I realized that my milk had fully come in! So, I guess God just wanted to speed things up for me so my little guy could get a good meal! : )
Once we got home we introduced Jude and Sawyer (the pup). To tell you the truth it was the cutest thing ever! Sawyer set up like Jude was some sort of treat and he has been a really good dog! I was worried about how he would react but he's actually pretty protective and he pretty much wants to be anywhere the baby is except at night ... at night my dog wants his beauty rest!

Day 3-4:
I've gone on and on here, but there was so much to tell (and still more I left out!) However, the last few days at home have been really good! Jude is a pretty easy baby to take care of and besides one night where he was really really gassy and once again my Mom saved the day and kept him calm. I don't know what I'm going to do when she goes home, she's been amazing! However, I don't feel too bad because I know this will be the only bonding time she's going to get with him until September so even though I feel a little guilty that she lets me sleep and she doesn't mind holding him I know that it's also really good for Jude because he will remember his Memaw when he goes home. Also Martin's parents were here and they got to spend some time with Jude too. They left on Saturday but will be back in three weeks with Jude's aunt to spend more time with him!

Today:Jude got dressed up in his Razorback gear and as for me, I feel really good. I haven't had to take too much pain killers and I'm so thankful for that. I am up and around and we even ventured out to Wal-mart (just my mom and I) and then today Jude Martin and I went to the Publix down the street to get stuff for a birthday breakfast and dinner for my mom (Today is a very special birthday for her, but I won't say her age ... but let me just say my mom is STILL very young!) I feel so amazingly blessed. Jude is an easy baby. He has a slight bit of jaundice in one eye so we have been sitting him by a window and letting him get some sunlight. We will take him for his newborn check-up tomorrow and look forward to enjoying the rest of the week of Martin being off work. Martin will begin working from home beginning next week and Mom goes home on Saturday. I'm looking forward to spending this time with my family, it's so special!
So, that's it. If you are still there after that incredibly LONG post I applaud you -- either it was really interesting or you just love me enough to read it all! Either way, stay tuned. I'll try to post pictures at least once a week of Jude, and update you on anything major that happens along the way! Here are some more pictures for your viewing pleasure. : )

A Much Needed Post ... 38 Weeks + 3 Days

2010-05-22T23:37:00.004-04:00

So there is so much to talk about and I don't have a lot of energy to write it all out. First of all I had TWO great showers here in Florida from Cara & Jill and Jenny & Anne. One we had at our home and the other at The Clayhouse. They were both absolutely wonderful! I can't tell you how thankful I am for all my friends here in Florida and the love and kindness they showed us through the fun we had and the gifts they shared with Jude! Thanks to everyone who came out!

In other news we have been getting the house ready for Jude's big arrival. After our 36 Week ultrasound we found out that our little Jude is breech. He is happily head up and booty down and he did not want to be turned all around! So, we have a big day scheduled this Wednesday, May 26 @ 12 p.m. to meet our little boy through a c-section. Part of me is really disappointed about having a c-section, however I am relieved to know that he is breech now instead of laboring and finding out at the last minute. The only worry I have is going into labor before the 26th and freaking out about having an emergency c-section. However, since it's now only 3 days away, I'm starting to worry less.

My Mom and Martin's parents will be here Wednesday for the big event and so that worked out quite well too. Yesterday was my last "official" day at work, though knowing me I'll probably end up doing a little lite e-mail checking and such just to make sure things are going ok at the office. Martin and I spent most of today getting the house ready for company and Jude's home arrival. We still need to get the spare room cleaned up, hang up the laundry and do some vacuuming and mopping, but other than that the house is ready to go! Tomorrow will be spent finishing up these last few things, writing two stories I have out that I have put off way too long, and watching the season finale of LOST!

Next update will have photos from Jude's arrival!

The Baby Boom Continues, + Working on the Nursery (34 weeks + 5 Days)

2010-04-26T17:54:00.007-04:00

Baby Boom #2:

It's a little late to announce but we are so excited that Landon is finally here for the Abbott's! Annie & Billy are wonderful parents and Landon is just the sweetest little one ever! We got to see him just a few days after he was born. We brought Sawyer along with us to see how he would react to a newborn and he seemed to be interested but not overly hyper, so I was very excited about that! Here is a photo of the sweet little one! Congrats to Annie & Billy on a beautiful baby boy! Also, I just want to shout out to Kara & Ben on the birth of Sarah! She's gorgeous and Kara has done an amazing job at posting photos of little Sarah, weekly even! : )

Working on the Nursery:

Martin put all the stars up on the wall from the decals we have gotten as baby gifts! I absolutely love them! They look SO good. We still need a few more items but we have TWO showers this weekend so hopefully we will be able to get a few more things and then we can head off to Babies R Us and Target to pick up the rest on Sunday night! I'm ready to get the nursery finished. I feel like I have been nesting quite a bit the past few days. I've been spending a lot of time organizing and trying to get the house in order! I hope it stays this way before Jude comes because right now it's looking pretty darn good! As for the photo ... so I'm huge! You can't talk me out of it or tell me I look good. But, people want to see what the bump looks like ... it's no longer a bump it's a basketball (Martin even tried to grip it that way!)

Childbirth 101:

What can I say? We spent the entire Saturday trying to learn how to have this kid, but in reality nothing that is on a slide-show is going to prepare us I don't think. It's going to happen whether I know how to breath or not! : ) But, I'm glad we went I think it made Martin feel a bit more prepared. When they had us get into groups of how prepared we were from 1-5 (5 being most prepared) Martin was a 3 and I was a 4. So I think we are going to be just fine!

I'll try to blog more in the next few weeks before Jude is due! I know I haven't been the best at blogging but it's hard to manage keeping up here with school (3 weeks until finals!) and work! Be looking for more once Jude gets here! I'll try to post pictures as often as I can!

Baby Showers, Blood Pressure and More (31 + 2 days)

2010-04-01T15:09:00.005-04:00

Baby Shower
So in March I went home to Arkansas for a family/church shower at First United Methodist Church. Martin wasn't able to come because he is saving all his time for when Jude gets here but I still had a great time! We got so many great things. Homemade blankets from several family and friends, clothes galore, a homemade cradle from my Mom and Brad and the bedding set for the crib from Nick & Kay (Martin's Parents).

While I was away my mom got with Martin secretly and also bought us a crib, so Martin put it together over the weekend. It was a very quick trip, I flew out Saturday and back to Florida on Monday. But, it was well worth it! I can't even tell you how excited I was to see everyone and we are SO thankful for all the great gifts baby Jude received.

Blood Pressure
Maybe it was all the excitement of travel or maybe it was just being pregnant but we had a little blood pressure scare last week when it decided to go up quickly and cause me to feel like total crap. I went home from work and my boss recommended I stop by Publix and check my BP just to be safe. It was 151/96 ... scared the crap out of me! So I called my doc and she told me to come on into the triage department of the hospital to just check things out. So, I called Martin and he met me there. I was a little afraid that we were going to meet Jude a little too soon, but not that worried. I was more afraid of being put on bedrest for the next 8 weeks. But, I guess I just needed some rest because we stayed for about 45 minutes and it went back down to 116/73 so I was fine. Who knows what brought that on?

More Stuff
It's really crazy that I have just 8 weeks to go before Baby Jude gets here. There is still so much to sort out. We have two more showers planned for the first weekend in May. I think after that we can finally get the nursery ready to go! We have gotten a lot of great stuff already, but we still need a lot more! We have almost gotten the backyard finished, which will be so great to have done before Jude gets here so that I can let Sawyer the pup out during the day instead of having to walk him, he can play in his huge, fenced in, backyard. Sawyer already loves to lay in the grass out there, so I know he will love being off his leash and able to run and play! Martin and I are really getting excited to meet Baby Jude and we can't wait for him to get here. We did get some good news regarding our hospital stay. Because I'm in the ordination process and Florida Hospital is a religious organization, I get 50% off my deductible! This was a huge gift, and I am so relieved! It is saving us $500 and it means more money to use to get ready for Jude!

Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to update more, it's just by the time I get home from work I am so tired that I never feel much like writing. :)

Happy Easter everyone!

The Baby Boom has begun ...

2010-03-09T07:29:00.003-05:00

Several of my nearest and dearest friends are pregnant right now along with me. Which has been amazing to be able to call and talk to them about plans/aches and pains/whatever in the last few months. We have been separated out by just a few weeks between each friend, so it's been neat to follow everyone's progression.

Well, the first of those friends, Ms. Shannon Slatton Schwatz, had her precious little one last night! At 12:45 a.m. I got a text message from the proud daddy (Dave) that Jack William came into the world kicking and screaming on March 8, 2010 at 10:53 pm. He weighed 6 lbs and 15 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. Congrats to Shannon and Dave, they are wonderful, wonderful people and will have so much fun being parents! The best part is that they weren't finding out what they were having, so it was a double surprise to hear that we have another boy in the ranks!

Now ... up next is Annie and her little Landon (due April 10), then me and Jude, then Whitney (due July 12) with Henry. Following us all is my little sister Becky (due Sept. 12 or so) and then Jenny who hasn't found out her due date yet but she's thinking late Oct. early Nov. I have one other friend who is on the baby-trying wagon so we'll see if I get to add her name to the list soon! : )

Yay for babies, and congrats again to Shannon & Dave!

Whirlwind, 26 Weeks + 6 Days (27 Weeks)

2010-03-02T07:23:00.004-05:00

There is a reason this blog is called Seven Tornadoes, it's because life for me is often swirling around and I'm just grasping to hold on to the baseboards of the home I've made for myself and my little family. To say things have not slowed down would be an understatement.

The first tornado is my life right now is our backyard. When we moved into our house in Sept. 2008 we knew that eventually we would do some work in our backyard, but didn't know what we wanted to happen. We couldn't decide if we wanted a backporch and leave the swampy, woodsy divide between our house and the land behind us or to clear our entire backyard of said swamp, sod the area, put up a privacy fence and have a large backyard. We decided on making a backyard for the house because we really wanted a large fenced in backyard for Sawyer (the pup) and Jude (the babe) to play in while Jude is growing up. Also, there was no place for a swing-set or anything like that back there, and though there is a park about 2 miles down the road, it'll be nice to have play area in the back too. But, of course, as soon as we started the project it started raining in Florida. Been cold and dry for weeks ... now rain. We wanted to get it done before late spring because we want the grass to not die when we plant it, so we started early, but now my backyard is a HUGE mudpit. We have a large dirt pile sitting in our front yard, which the neighborhood kids have taken to sliding down and trying to ramp with their bicycles, and construction equipment littered around the lawn. It's a huge mess! A nice mess, mind you, but not pretty at all.

Second and third tornadoes? Family stuff and work stuff. Both, who I don't like to talk too much about in my blog, have been stressful and full of uncertainty in the last few weeks, and it has taken a lot of prayers and support from my amazing husband to get through everything. It looks like the family stuff is going to calm down a bit, but as for work ... we'll have to wait it out a little while longer to see if that fixes itself.

Fourth tornado? School ... this is my last semester and I've got lots of books to read and papers to write and I know that I'll get through it, but when I look at the mountain of work ahead of me I want to scream. Not to mention that I have until April 1 to finish ALL my paperwork for my upcoming meeting for ordination ... let's hope I can get things done today and get caught up so I can spend some time writing in the upcoming weeks and get things taken care of!

In the whirlwind those are the things that are spinning around me. Pregnancy wise everything is going fine. Last doctor's appointment went very well with just a quick visit and I have my glucose test Friday after next. Jude kicks a lot now, early morning, lunch-time, snack-time, dinner, my kid likes meal time, and doesn't appreciate waiting! I'm feeling pretty good and actually getting sleep, which I'm so thankful for! Tomorrow starts the beginning of my "28th" week according to one calculation which means I'm starting the third trimester. Martin and I have several baby classes coming up and I look forward to all the fun stuff we are going to learn together. We already went to "Fido meets the New Baby," and learned a lot of tools that we are using on Sawyer to get him ready. We were planning to start Childbirth 101 tonight but I had to reschedule to a one-day intensive class so that will be later on in April. We also have a baby shower happening in Arkansas next weekend which I'm going to get to go home for but Martin is going to have to stay behind and work. :( We also need to work on planning the Florida showers, which I need to get moving on!

So, overall, even though the room is still spinning, I know we are going to make it through. I'm looking forward to the next few months spending time with my husband before our world gets turned upside down from not only a tornado, but I'm predicting Jude is going to be a little hurricane! :)

The Baby Bump ...

2010-02-09T19:39:00.001-05:00

Here is a photo for all those folks out there who have been asking!

Ugh!— 23 + 2 Days

2010-02-05T20:46:00.004-05:00

So, I have said that I wasn't going to post too many negative things on the blog regarding pregnancy. But, after talking with a couple of friends I have been convinced that I'm not exactly being honest if I leave out the bad parts right?

So tonight I am being honest. Being pregnant is not the most wonderful feeling on the Earth! I am tired all the time, my emotions range from happy to sad to pissed in less than a five minute time span, and at the present moment I just feel completely unhappy with the world. I feel fat, my face is broke-out, my hair constantly looks greasy, and I really just want to break something. I know part of this has to do with the fact that I had a pretty stressful week, on top of my work schedule I had a meeting every single night, and I am working tomorrow. I'm upset right now because I really wanted to go out to eat tonight and Martin pretty much shot that down because he's on a diet. Which, I think it's great that he's trying to get healthy before the baby, but it sure doesn't make life easier as a pregnant woman. I rarely want to go out and the one night that I actually felt like going out on a relaxing date, I just felt completely shot down. I highly doubt this was my husband's intention, but that's all I can hear in my crazy hormonal head. I'm just overwhelmed right now, and I'm disappointed that I couldn't have a "I feel great" pregnancy. I know those exist, I know women who felt pretty darn good during their pregnancies and can't wait to get pregnant again ... I just feel like I'm stuck in "no fun land."

I don't want to sound like a total drag, so I'll try to stop venting. In happy news my kid kicks all the time now, but I'm even a little frustrated with that because he is SUPER active. Sometimes I double over from the kick, I think he must be taking kickboxing in there or something. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty darn cool. But it also keeps me from getting comfortable or even sleeping and that's hard. Last night I actually got 6 hours of sleep and I was proud of that ... Didn't I hear somewhere that pregnant women need 9-12 hours ... not likely!

So there, the downsides of pregnancy. I feel alone. I feel overwhelmed. I'm hungry but don't want to eat. I would like to cry about it, then I just feel guilty because I'm not supposed to feel this way! It makes me think crazy things, like that I would like to quit my job and be a stay at home mom, which, if you know me at all, is not something that I could ever imagine myself being happy doing (No offense to all those SAHM's out there, you rock and I'm glad it works for you, but I know myself, and I know I wouldn't be good at it). I think some of that feeling is simply because I learned child-care is going to be super expensive and that's pretty stressful.

Isn't it fun to hear what's in the crazy fat pregnant lady's head?

It's a Boy!

2010-01-18T21:48:00.003-05:00

There you have it! Baby Downey is a boy and now everything seems a bit more real! : ) Martin is so excited, and I'm getting used to the idea. It was quite a shock to me, but it figures I would be the first woman in my family to have a boy first! The first thing I said to Martin was, "Well, I guess we'll be having another one!" I'll have a lot to learn with a boy and I'm pretty nervous about it all, but I'm excited to venture into the world of boyhood! :)

20 Weeks + 4 Days (Halfway there and OAMC)

2010-01-17T22:15:00.009-05:00

So, we've made it to middle ground on this baby thing! It's hard to believe that I am halfway through this pregnancy and in just 20 more weeks Baby Downey will be here. According to the latest reports the baby is about the size of a Cantaloupe, which is actually pretty darn big. I have been feeling "Juicy" (Martin's nickname for Lucy/Jude until we know the sex) move around quite a bit, but it's still not hard enough that anyone else can feel it from the outside. Though I think the dog may can hear the baby because he will sit his little head on my belly and then I'll feel the baby move and Sawyer will look up at me with this little confused face ... like "What the crap was that?" It's super cute. I appreciate that Sawyer has taken to sleeping more. It works out well with me because I get home from work and need a nap and he's more than happy to snuggle up with me, maybe it's the colder weather we've had lately, but he's not doing his crazy hyper thing, and I'm relieved because I think I would be way too tired to pull that off right now.

Last Sunday my friend Jenny and I started our plan to do "Once a Month Cooking." We found a great website, Once a Month Mo m, where she gives you a set menu, instructions, and plan for each month. The website suggested that we would need to set aside 8-12 hours to cook a months worth of meals (15 recipes all together for breakfast, lunch and dinner). Obviously this is not 30 meals, but you take in account left-overs, eating out, and dinner with friends, and you come up with needing about half the months menus already prepared. Jenny got to the house around 1 p.m. on Sunday and we sorted out all the ingredients and printed all the instructions (Jenny and I had shopped already, picking up things all week, with Jenny picking up most things and then having me look for hard to find items near me). The instructions split us into person "A" and person "B." Which seemed fine at first until we realized that person "A" had a lot more responsibilities. So, we grabbed Martin and had him do all the chopping and storing which helped a lot. We finished up around 11 p.m. that night! It was craziness! We were on our feet most of the time and washed dishes about a million times, but by the time Jenny left there were 15 meals in my freezer, and my kitchen was clean! The funniest part was when we ordered pizza and the pizza delivery lady asked, "Are you baking cookies or something, your house smells so good." I then had to explain to this girl that I was cooking for the whole month, but didn't feel like cooking dinner for the night, hence the pizza! Jenny and I will probably do this again next month, but I feel like we will do a lot more prep work before we get started. I don't think I could spend 10 hours on my feet again, but am looking forward to making more meals to last the month (just with more breaks)!

So, that's about it for now. There will be an update tomorrow regarding "who" Baby Downey is ... I'm ready to know a bit more about my dear little "Juicy."

Update you all tomorrow!

My New Year's Initiative — 18 Weeks, + 6 days

2009-12-28T11:50:00.004-05:00

see more Funny Graphs

It's a new year and most people spend this time reflecting on their past year and trying to decide what they are going to do better or differently in the new year. Most folks call this their "New Year's Resolution." They RESOLVE that they will make a change, that from that moment on they will lose weight, or exercise more, or stop smoking ... they make a statement. I don't believe in Resolutions. I think they are a lot of talk and no action. I can sit on my comfy couch and announce to the world that I will be thin, healthy, and athletic, but until I get up and DO something, I am just blowing hot air.

That's why this year I have instituted what I am calling my "New Year's Initiative." An initiative is a little different from a resolution because it requires more than just the first step, it is more than just making a statement or decision, it involves the second step ... actual follow-through. So, instead of resolving to do something, I've gone ahead and just did it.

In a little over 20 weeks (give or take) our baby will be here. It will be new and different and exciting ... but it will also be scary. The baby will demand more time of me than I have to offer, and I will have to oblige, because the baby comes first. So, this year I am taking steps to be more efficient, by carving out my time very carefully. I love my job, but when the choice comes between working or going home to be with my husband, I will choose home. I realize that I will not always have a choice, sometimes work can be like that, but on the days when I make the decision to stay or go ... I go. This applies to school too. I am not taking any courses that aren't required of me, even though I want to take the Technology and Ministry course because I know it will be super easy and it will pad my GPA (I have to make a blog as my final project ... um, yeah). I will not sign up for it, because that's wasted time away from my family. So what if I won't have an amazing GPA when I graduate, I'll have a pretty decent one (still Cum Laude I hope) and would have spent more time with my husband perfecting our marriage, which seems a little more important to me than the sticker on my degree.

Finally, I'm doing more things for me. I will visit the library once a week (and have been) and check out at least two or three cheesy quick read novels or intense nonfiction book to read. I can usually get through one of those in a night or two, and it's important for me to read. I love to read, and I deserve to read more than just my homework books. Carving time out for me will make me a better wife and mother, and I need to do a good job of teaching myself that now. I will not work myself into the ground and then come home and try to be superwoman. If there is anything that being pregnant has taught me it's that I can't "do it all." What's surprising is that I'm okay with that. I know there are plenty of feminists out there shaking their fist and declaring me a traitor for that statement, but really what woman do you know who truly does it all? I still plan to work full-time, I still plan to be a mother to my child, I still plan to be ordained and become a "woman preacher." I think I'm okay with the feminist movement here, but what I'm saying is that I have a choice of where I set my boundaries, and at the end of the day my choice will always be with my family. My husband, my child, my health, comes before anything else on my agenda, and that will be my focus for not only 2010, but for the rest of my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I have stepped back and evaluated and have decided that my needs and my family's needs come before everything else. It's a growth process, and I had to learn how much I could give, before I could learn how much I could take back. So, that's my initiative, to evaluate each circumstance and ask myself, "who benefits from this decision, and what are the pros/cons of making this choice?"

I hope that each one of you will have a prosperous new year and will also take a look at your own lives. What can you cut back, move around, make better so that you can give your time and energy to whatever it is that makes you the most happy?

Upcoming Blogs:

Will Baby Downey give us a peep show? Find out on 1/18/09!

The Love Dare — Martin and I received it as a gift. I have my opinions on it already but I'm trying to give it a fair shake for the sake of the great friend who got it for us!

15 Weeks + 5 Days, End of the Semester Blues

2009-12-14T23:46:00.004-05:00

Right now, in this moment. I hate school. I know it won't last. But right now, I'm so over it. I know I have one semester left of this and then I'm finished with what I'm "required" to take, but I'm so so tired. You see, I actually love to learn, but this semester has been hell on me since getting pregnant. I would not change being pregnant for the world (and there is good news on down after this complaining session), but I am way too tired to work full-time and do school online at night and give both 100%. I'm going to make a "B" in my favorite class of the semester. Mostly because I didn't have time to banter stupidly with other classmates on the online post, if I fail the paper I just wrote, I'm going to make a "C." Which, you know, whatever. It's graduate school, getting a "B" or a "C" is not the end of the world, the issue here is that I COULD have made an "A," and pretty easily if I could have just stayed awake a few more nights and pushed through. But, I didn't. I'll probably make an "A" in my other two classes, so it's not like I'm flunking out or anything, I'm just annoyed with myself right now because I have two papers left to write and really, I'm just so FREAKIN' over it!

Okay ... want some happy news? I've been able to feel the baby move. I know this is an INCREDIBLE blessing because most people don't feel this until like 20 weeks for their first pregnancy, but I guess I'm just aware. I've only felt the baby move twice, once when I was listening to "Here Comes the Sun," by the Beatles, I felt a little flutter in my tummy twice in a row, so I knew that was my kid. However, the second time was a funny. I was listening to Jay-Z in the car and the bass came on and it scared my kid to death! I could feel it totally freaking out! I felt a little guilty, but overall I just laughed out loud for like 10 minutes. Oddly enough, as I write this the baby is kicking the crap out of me, as I started the paragraph there was nothing and then patter, patter! : ) I have a very active little one!

Okay, that's the update for now. Christmas in a week! Yay! I'm ready for a couple days off work where I don't have to think too much. I'm ready for this semester to be over with so that I don't have to think at ALL about that! Thanks for letting me vent, I just needed to get my feelings out there and into the open air. Two more papers to write and I'll be finished with this semester, whatever grades I get, I get. At least I know that I always have one Master's to fall back on to pretend that I'm smart!

14 + 5 Days & Christmas

2009-12-07T10:00:00.003-05:00

Not too much to report, but I wanted to do a quick update before I started this very, very busy week! I'm feeling a bit better. I think the neasuea is finally beginning to wear off and we are finally getting into the happy "honeymoon" trimester! I have gotten back a bit of energy, which is also good because I have quite a bit of homework to finish up this semester and work is, as always, busy as ever!

Martin and I did our 12 days shopping last night and debated if we should keep the tradition going once there is a child in the picture. We've been doing 12 days gifts for seven years, and to me it seems a shame to not continue it on with our kid. When people find out we give each other 12 presents (plus a large gift on Christmas day) I think they think we are a bit extravagant when it comes to Christmas, but there are a few things about 12 days that I think makes it special:

1. It's the best time to buy Martin socks, underwear, and tees and wrap them up as presents! As a wife I don't pick these items up for my husband and he always forgets. So, at least during 12 days I can get him some practical items that aren't necessarily fun, but needed. I usually buy him these items every year (at least since we've been married).

2. We aren't allowed to spend over $20 on any present. Martin is great about sticking to this rule, me, not so much. I did pretty good this year and only went over my limit once, but it's fun to limit ourselves so we have to think outside the box when purchasing gifts.

3. It's something to look forward to every night. As a kid I used to talk my mom into letting us open one present on Christmas Eve, EVE! I love to open presents, even if it is a pair of socks, so by doing it daily up to Christmas makes it super fun. We usually open presents right at midnight which means I have to stay up late ... and sometimes that's a challenge but it's worth the fun. Now, when we start doing this with a kid we might have to change the rule on that ... but for now when midnight gets here we will be opening presents.

So, for me, it's become a very special tradition and I really think that we can incorporate a kid into the picture without them getting too spoiled. I think Martin and I will have to set some limits (not too many toys or candy) and focus on more of the practical side of things for the kid, but I think we should keep it going!

What about you? Do you have any special traditions you share with your children? Do you think we will be spoiling our kid by buying them 12 gifts? Are we spoiling ourselves? Thoughts anyone?

13 Weeks, 5 Days -- Optimus Prime Baby

2009-11-30T21:26:00.005-05:00

So, I know I've not been the best on updating. I'm trying to at least update from each doctor's appointment to keep everyone updated, but to be honest I didn't want to update the last few weeks because I've just felt *ugh!*

The morning sickness has been overwhelming at times, but I have found the amazing medication Zofran. I know, I know, medication is bad and all that, but I figure that my doctor approves it and it helps me function, so I'm going for it. It makes me feel SO much better. Without it I had a hard time even going into work, going to church, or doing anything except hunching over the nearest john. At least now, it eases the queasiness to the point where I can function as a human being. Thankfully I have been feeling much better and have gotten down to just taking the medication every other day, so that's a relief. My doc (and everyone else) says that I should be getting to more good days than bad in the next few days, so I'm looking forward to that.

Other than the morning (all-day) sickness, I've felt pretty good. A few icky moments, but overall I've been okay. Last Wednesday marked the end of my first trimester and now we are four months into growing this little one. With that came another doctor's appointment and a new ultrasound.

Today's appointment was amazing. I wish that everyone could have been there to see how much Baby Downey likes to move and suck her thumb! When we first put the wand on my tummy Baby was chewing on her little hand and looking up, when we moved the wand around to get a better view she moved her hand so quickly that Martin said it looked like a karate chop! This made me start laughing and that just made her even more excited so she started squirming and moving around with my laughter! It was really great. For the past U/S the baby has really just been a little blob, just a little black dot, now she has features ... little eyes, a nose, hands, a big pot belly (well, she just fits in!). We could not tell the sex of the baby yet and it looks like it will be late January before we find that out! I really enjoyed my appointment today even though they took four vials of blood (yuck!). There are two photos for you this time. One without photoshopped arrows to tell you what's what and one with ... Martin thinks the baby looks like Optimus Prime from Transformers right now! : )

As for names I decided against the poll. We have made a decision and I don't think anyone can change our mind. Our names are: Lucy Delilah and Jude Wesley. Don't tell me if you hate them, don't even make a face. I'd appreciate if you would just lie to me ... Thanks! :)

Nursery theme is getting started. I know some of you have asked about my aversion to Noah's Ark. Well, it simply comes down to Theology for me. When I read about Noah, I don't excactly feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Noah was the ONLY good man on the whole Earth and God was tired of mankind ... so he decided to start over. Why would I want my child to sleep with the animals going onto the boat when the story represents God saying ... "Nope, this didn't work, let's start over." Now, I could go with the animals getting OFF the boat and the rainbow and the promise of a new covenant ... but that just seems too complicated for me. I know, I'm completely neurotic, but really I want my kid to be surrounded by all the goodness of God. So, we've decided on a theme around Van Gogh's Starry Night. The painting because it represents the creativity of God through the stars (and the talent he gave Van Gogh, no doubt!) and the creation of the universe. We are planning to put stars on the ceiling and decorate around the night sky. I'm super excited about this theme and look forward to getting it done. Martin has gotten started on the room by surprising me a few weeks back when I went home for a friend's wedding by painting a wall dark blue, and I love it!

Other than that we had a great time going home for Thanksgiving but it always feels like we don't have enough time. We look forward to getting the house ready for Christmas and having some more time to spend with family over the Christmas holiday. Personally, I'm looking forward to feeling little Lucy or Jude move around in my tummy ... I'll promise to try to be a good writer when that happens and explain it for you all!

Till next time!

10 + 3 Days ...

2009-11-07T15:03:00.005-05:00

So, it's been five weeks since the last update. Sorry for that! Work and life have been pretty crazy! But, we had another ultrasound and everything is going great! The baby is growing leaps and bounds! Things were going pretty well for me with morning sickness until I flew home to Arkansas, then the worst happened. I got sick on the plane ... and basically haven't felt better since. I know it's a good sign that the baby is growing, but it's been a difficult 3-4 weeks. So, there's the health update. But, I have lots of other updates for you from last time:

1. Baby Names (maybe we'll have a poll?)
Okay, so a poll sounds good. So we are working on baby names that we like and will get those up here for you soon. I just haven't decided if I want to wait until we know the sex to have the poll or do it while it's still unknown. Weigh in if you like in the comments.

2. Baby Nursery Theology (Why Noah's Ark is a BAD idea)
This post is still coming ... so don't worry. I want to finish up the theme that we ARE doing before going into why I ruled out so many others.

3. Ultrasound photos! (Coming 10/12!!)
A little late, but there it is up there at 8 weeks. We have another scheduled in a few weeks, right after our second trip to Arkansas.

4. Mary's results from Race from the Taste 10k
Finally, photos from this event as well. Ironically, I did not have to walk this race alone. Whit's husband Graham was injured and he walked with me and we are proud to say that we MADE it! In fact I think we at least beat 50 people! :) Six miles was never easy for me, but I was really afraid to get my heart rate over 140, but I'm pretty sure I did. I did manage to run the first mile but then slowed down so slow that Graham caught up with me and we walked the last 5 together. I felt bad for Graham, who has done half-marathons in less time than we did six miles, but it was still a fun experience.

So, that's it for now, I know it's a quick post. But we have a lot going on.

5 Weeks, 4 days or 6 Weeks

2009-10-04T15:26:00.003-04:00

So, being pregnant is interesting to say the least. Here are the things that I have done since having an enormous amount of hormones running through my body:

1. Almost puked after taking communion at church
2. Almost passed out from the heat at church
3. Had to pee so bad that I stopped at a disgusting gas station, and still went there!
4. Spent an obscene amount of money on Maternity Clothes.
5. I go from feeling like I'm going to die from back-pain to super happy and excited
6. Being hungry all the time
7. Almost fallen asleep at work (sorry Cara!)
8. Forgotten stuff

So that's that. I wondered what kind of theological meaning there is in puking up The Lord's Supper. I'm sure I'm not the first one who has felt that way, but I swear after taking that bread I thought ... "Oh God, this is going to be it, this is what's going to make me puke?" Luckily, I didn't throw up the Holy Sacrament, but it was a close call. In fact, I have yet to throw up anything. And, I'm thankful. Usually this is how I feel: I have to pee, I go. Then I get really hot and start fanning myself. The heat takes over and I feel nauseous, then I think I'm going to puke. So, I keep fanning myself, and squirming in my seat until the feeling passes. I guess that can be including in "morning sickness" but there has no puking yet, and usually it happens in the afternoon, early evening.

Also, my back still has days when it hurts. I think some of this may be from gas. Apparently the baby slows down my digestive system quite a bit, and makes it harder for my insides to do what they are supposed to do. I've tried fixing this by eating better and sipping warm liquids. I have a cup of warm tea every night before bed and I have been eating Lipton Cup of Soup quite a bit too. These help a lot, but sometimes the backache is still there. That's why I think it's not all from the slow digestive tract. Some is just down-right pain. I've been doing yoga to eliminate the pain and to stretch out my body, it seems to be working.

I'm already gaining some weight. I think a lot of it is water (hence the urge to pee!), and the rest from just being hungry A LOT! Because of these two things, I couldn't find anything to wear in my current wardrobe, so I went to Motherhood Maternity. They CLAIM that the clothes will grow with me, so those who see me regularly be prepared for seeing me in the SAME thing for the next eight months!

I am also pretty tired all the time. I'm trying to take breaks and walk around the office so I don't get too tired sitting at my desk. Luckily, last week I was EVERYWHERE and hardly had time to sit still, but by Friday I was so ready to wind down and was so tired I didn't know if I would be able to drive home! I think the tiredness makes me forget stuff too, my friends warned me about "pregnancy brain" and I can't believe it's already taken hold! I also notice that I don't catch things as much (i.e. spelling/grammar mistakes in my blog posts, and papers!) I hope you guys don't mind that for now my brain is working much slower, and I hope you will overlook any mistakes!

So, overall things have been going ok. I'm liking being pregnant, I just need to get used to all these different feelings. The shortness of breath comes and goes but I'm finding it easier to adjust. According to all the sources, the baby is only the size of an apple seed right now. It's hard to imagine something so small can take so much of my energy all the time. I'm not complaining by any means, it's just weird to see (and feel) all these changes in my body!

Things to look forward to in the next few blogs:
1. Baby Names (maybe we'll have a poll?)
2. Baby Nursery Theology (Why Noah's Ark is a BAD idea)
3. Ultrasound photos! (Coming 10/12!!)
4. Mary's results from Race from the Taste 10k (Did she get picked up by the short bus?)

Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow!

2009-09-26T12:55:00.012-04:00

*I want to just put something out there before I go into this blog. Martin and I tried for seven months to get pregnant. During that time I was pretty emotional and weepy when each time I would take a pregnancy test and it would come back negative. Each time I knew I wasn't pregnant AGAIN, I was upset and found it really hard to read/hear stories of other people's baby-making success. I was REALLY happy for them, it was just hard on me because I felt like I was being left out of the baby loop! So, I'm being honest with my readers. If you have been trying and things aren't working out, it's okay with me if you are a little annoyed with me right now. I do want to celebrate, but I don't want to upset anyone. So, I'm acknowledging the feelings that I had, in hopes that, if you are reading this and you feel the deep pit in your stomach sink in a bit more, I want you to know I understand. Also, I'm taking this blog to a new level and it may be too much information for some. I'm not modest (never have been) but I'm just warning folks who may be because I plan to go into the details of being pregnant in the next nine months! So be prepared! : )

I'm Pregnant! (Five Weeks, or 4 Weeks +3 Days)

Wooo Hooo! It's been seven long months of trying, and one dose of Femara (a breast Cancer drug that is also good for PCOS and jump-starting ovulation) and the test read yes! So, now we start the journey of pregnancy. And, I want to at least blog about it once a month so I can journal this important and exciting time. I had a couple of friends who blogged through their pregnancies and they were great, so I hope that my posts can live up to theirs.

The Background Story

So, what's first? I guess the story. I had been charting and watching very closely my cycle for the last few months, and things were not adding up the way the should. So, I called my doctor and got an appointment on Aug. 12. He talked to me for a bit, and at first wanted me to keep trying for a year, but once I showed him my charts and had proof that things were not happening the way they should, he reconsidered. I am forever thankful to Cara for teaching me how to chart, it saved me six months of waiting! So, anyway, we discussed it and he decided that I needed a "jump-start." So, at the beginning of my next cycle I started the Femara. I have to tell you it was tough! I only had to take the pill for five days, but it did make me very emotional and moody. However, after the five days were over I was fine. So, the month progressed and we hoped and prayed that this would be it.

Taking the Test

I first starting testing on day 8 after ovulation, they tell you to wait until 10, but since my cycles had been short, I thought I might get lucky. I didn't. It was negative. Day 10 came and I tested again, and it was negative as well. So, I did what any other normal woman would do. I gave up! However, I didn't feel that great all day of Day 10, and people around me were noticing that I was very short of breath! I also spotted a bit, so I was convinced that I was just going to start soon, and that this round of Femara had not worked. So, Day 11 I woke up and decided, Why not?, I'll take the test again today (since I had stopped spotting) and if it's negative then I'll know I was about to start. Besides, I sort of think it's fun to pee on a stick. I know, I'm crazy, but I think it goes back to when I was in Chemistry and we could dip those little sticks in different liquids to see what color they were and how acidic they were ... I loved to watch them change colors, same principal, I guess it's just weirder because we never stuck those in pee. ANYWAY, so I took the test and then went about my morning. I'm not one for counting down the minutes on the clock. So, I took Sawyer out for his morning walk, I made a little breakfast, I lazed around for a few minutes, and I'm pretty sure at one point I said OUT LOUD, to myself, "There is no way that test is going to be positive." That was right before I walked into the bathroom and saw the word "pregnant" on the screen.

Telling Martin

I did a horrible job of telling Martin. I always had dreams of thinking of something creative and cute. Maybe I'd write some long love-letter about how we had made this precious thing together, or get him a T-shirt that said "World's Greatest Dad." What did I do instead? Run into the other bathroom where he was showering and yell, "I was wrong, I'm pregnant." Which I got in response, "HUH?" Then I proceed to repeat myself, pull yesterday's "Not Pregnant" stick out of the trash and show him the difference between the two (as if just seeing the "pregnant" was not enough, I know CRAZY), while the poor man is still trying to shower. Yeah, I could have done that better. The worst part too, was that he had no time to really digest it because he was getting ready for work and was working on a HUGE project, so in hindsight, I wish I had told him differently, but hey, at least he knows! And, now he is super excited and happy, so it worked out okay in the end. As for everyone else, I, of course, called my Mom and my sisters (Oddly enough, my little sister Becky found out she was pregnant the day before I did, so we have the same approximate due date). I called closest friends and told them the news and then decided later that night to just put it on Facebook so that we could share with everyone. I know it's still early, but I've never been one to live in fear so I'm not too worried about anything happening.

What's next?

So, I've been to the doctor twice. Once for blood work and once for a question and answer session. I really like my doctor and he's very open with me, which I appreciate. We have an ultrasound date for 10/12, which was the earliest possible date we could do one and see the baby. The doctor wants to watch me closely and make sure everything is going smoothly, but he seems to be very confidant that things will be fine. I can already tell a HUGH difference in my body. It's so weird! So far I've had shortness of breath, tender breasts, I need to pee quite a bit, sore back, and I'm hungry about every 4-5 hours. I haven't gotten sick yet, so I'm happy for that. One big thing I've noticed is how my body is already changing quite a bit. One big problem is that I can't "suck" in my gut anymore. It hurts to do so. So, I look like I'm six months pregnant when I'm really just one! I used to make fun of little skinny girls going out and buying maternity clothes so early, but now I understand. Nothing really does fit! I already can't wear my black work slacks because they button above the tummy, and it ain't happening! UGH! It's okay, I don't mind the weight gain (Doc says at least 30 lbs) but I just don't want to have to buy a lot of new clothes! The only other thing that I am worried about it doing a six mile run in a few weeks, well, make that walk. My doctor made me buy a heart monitor and HIGHLY suggested the I walk briskly and not run the race. I hope the short bus doesn't pick me up, this is the last year for 'The Race for the Taste' at Disney World and I REALLY want that medal!

So, that's about it. The best part is the day that we found out we realized was the same day that Martin started his job here in Florida and when we got the house ... so there is something special about September. I guess that why God blessed me with seeing a rainbow on the way home on the day we found out (photo above). It was like a special message just to me that said, "See, I was paying attention, all those rainbows before were a promise, and here is another promise to you!" I have been truly blessed, it was not an easy road to get here, but here's to an easy journey here on out full of fun and happiness for Martin, me, and the future baby Downey!

The Weekend is my Enemy

2009-08-10T22:10:00.004-04:00

I've been on the wagon now for two weeks. That's right, I'm in a 12-step program ... for food. I'm back on Weight Watchers again after a short break from the "dieting" scene. Back in June, I decided that I wasn't going to worry too much about my weight. I figured, hey, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so no need to be watching my weight. I thought that I could just blame any weight gain on my baby bump, and not my eating habits.

Guess what happens when you take on this mindset and don't get pregnant? You gain 15 pounds. That's right, 15. I already weighed more than I would like, but I didn't figure I would gain that much, especially since I was going to be all fat and pregnant. Well, thanks to my overactive cycle and under-active metabolism I am neither pregnant nor skinny. I am now 45 pounds overweight.

So, once I realized that this baby thing wasn't going to go the way I wanted, I decided I better at least get these extra 15 pounds off before 200 starts staring at me from the scale. So, I've changed my habits yet again. I am dedicated to exercising at least 20 minutes a day for five days a week, eating within my weight watchers points, and taking care of myself by writing, reading, and relaxing in my down-time. All of this can tend to be a bit difficult with a busy work schedule, but I'm at the point where I'm over it. And that's usually the point where I become the most successful.

It's interesting that other things in my life seem to go so well for me. Career wise I'm right where I want to be (tomorrow marks one year at my AMAZING job, and it came with a new title and promotion, Deputy Director), I enjoy freelance writing for the Florida UMC conference, and ordination is moving at a steady pace. Marriage wise I couldn't be more blessed. My husband is caring, supportive, and loving, I'm lucky to have him. But, with all the good things, I just can't seem to get "healthy" with myself. I find that the weekends are my worst enemy. All week I count points and do really well, but when Friday night gets here, I loose the obsession and eat whatever I like. This attitude continues on Saturday and by Sunday I am disgusted with myself. Lucky for me I didn't give up last week when I fell in the weekend trap (I lost 3 lbs) and I was able to get back on track this week (weigh day is tomorrow). But, I would do so much better on my weight loss and exercise if I wouldn't let Friday and Saturday get in my way.

So, my goal this week is to be READY for Friday. I will write down everything I put into my body over the weekend, I know I can do this because I do it all week. I will continue my morning prayer and Bible time, I will continue exercising and I hope to do a practice 10k this weekend.

I'm back on the wagon ... let's hope I don't fall of. If I do, just go ahead and let it run over me please.

Looking for Rainbows ... Part II

2009-08-03T22:42:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday. As of 7:45 p.m. (or so) I turned the ripe old age of 27.

When I was 21 I made a list of things I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30. I don't remember all of it (it's in a book that Whitney currently has custody of), but I know there were things in there like lose weight, start a magazine, have a baby and go to Europe.

I'm 27 and have yet to do any of those things, and I still want to. But, there are other things that have gotten in the way, new goals that I have been working on and seeing some good results. I would have never thought at 21 that I was going to be ordained or so passionate about helping those in need in the community. There are things in my life I am VERY proud of, and for that I am know I am blessed. But, with those great things there are disappointments.

I debated if I was going to blog about what I have been going through lately, because it is deeply personal. But, if what I have to say will help someone else feel better then it's worth putting myself out there. One of my goals before I was 30 was/is to have a baby, and it's one that is proving to be a little more difficult than I would have hoped. Martin and I decided back in April that we were ready to start a family, but our timing doesn't seem to be working with my body's timing. It's to the point now where I have made a doctor's appointment to see if everything is "all right." I have some ideas about what is going on, and honestly I blame 10 years of birth control for the problem. But, even when you do have a scapegoat, you still can't help but be upset with yourself, and disappointed. I have several friends who are pregnant right now (and congrats to all of them), and it's really hard trying to figure out why they have seemed to get pregnant so easy, and for me it seems to be more of a challenge. It's frustrating, and I know I am not alone in this. I know there are thousands of women who are going through what I am going through, and really, it's only been four months. It may be that there simply hasn't been enough time, but it's still REALLY hard.

Martin has been amazing in all of this. He loves me, and he has been supportive in everything. Even when I spent a whole day crying this week, even when I seem like I am going crazy. I'm very lucky to have such a loving and understanding husband.

Today I turned 27, and when I walked outside from dinner I saw the widest, brightest rainbow shinning over my world. I have to remember the promise of a few months ago, that God reminded me. God is with me, there is a plan, and I'm part of it. I just have to keep looking for rainbows.

Celebrate my Birthday!!

2009-07-07T16:40:00.002-04:00

Donate in my honor!

Looking for Rainbows

2009-06-28T06:33:00.003-04:00

I woke up a bit early this morning, which hardly ever happens for me. Usually by Sunday I am so tired that I can't even move, yet alone get up by 6 a.m., but this morning when Sawyer (who has since fallen back asleep) woke me up for his usually bathroom/morning meal routine, I didn't feel like going back to bed, so I'm enjoying a little time to myself this morning to relax and reflect.

Updates

I've done really well this week on my being more positive plan. I've set aside time each night for devotional, and have actually stuck to it. Now, it's not more than 20-30 minutes worth of time, but it's amazing how just a few extra minutes each day spent in prayer and reflection seems to get me back centered and at peace. However, it was a pretty rough week for me and I think if I hadn't of planned to have that time, I would have been a lot more stressed. I am liking having a domain name for the blog, but for some reason if you go directly to the link the whole page doesn't load, I'm not sure why, and I'm hoping this will work itself out in the future.

Looking for Rainbows

This week brought a few hard memories for me when I found out that one of my niece's friends had been killed in a car accident. When I was about her age I had a dear friend pass on and the memory broke my heart, and just knowing what she was going through made it even harder to swallow. It's always funny how God speaks right when I need him to. I was driving to work after hearing the news, reflecting on death, life, resurrection, all the things that I believe to my core, and honestly I wasn't thinking, "God why?" but more along the lines of, "Is your promise really possible?," Boy, I've found when you ask a question like that you get an answer you will never believe. As I was thinking and praying about past circumstances and a few current circumstances (especially those involving work), I saw just a glimmer of a rainbow in the distance. Rainbows to me are a clear reminder of God's presence with his people. It was the sign of the covenant that he would always be with us in the OT, and it is a continued sign to me that God keeps all his promises. Honestly, that small sign was all I needed, I was already feeling connected and close, but God apparently thought I needed more reassurance. Immediately after I saw the small rainbow I noticed that I had an e-mail on my phone. A co-worker had taken a photograph at work and he thought I would like it:

As someone on my Facebook said, "What a promise!" What a promise indeed. With an full arched rainbow over the place where I spend most of my time, it was God reminding me of his ways, his plans, and ultimately his promises, for me and for mankind. "As colorful as a rainbow that appears after a storm. I realized I was seeing the brightness of the LORD's glory, " Ezekiel 1:28.

God's glory is constantly around us, and he has promised to never forget us or forsake us. The rainbow says to me, through the trails, through the pain, there can be peace, love, grace. The rainbow is, for me, God's ultimate sign of grace. I am so thankful for all the gifts that God has already poured out over my life, every sweet morning with my husband, every milestone that happens in my career, it is not me who deserves the credit, but God and his ultimate grace!

I look forward to more of God's promises in my future, and I know that by believing with faith like a child I will see the truth of God's promise TODAY.

Seven Tornadoes

2009-06-22T20:36:00.001-04:00

So, the blog has gotten a little makeover, and it's going in a new direction. Martin has officially given me permission to use this blog as my own personal creative outlet. I'm sure there will still be plenty of family updates, but that will not be the sole purpose of the blog. I've also registered the domain for this blog, so soon you can visit www.seventornadoes.com, and will get right to my blog (and for you Google Readers out there, take a moment and stop by and see how pretty the page looks!)

But, why the name Seven Tornadoes? It goes back to my high school senior newspaper, and class predictions. I wish I had the actual copy (Whitney, you have it somewhere I'm sure) but the gist of it was that I wasn't going to amount to much of anything ... I think it was probably a joke, and I took it lightly, but as a good friend says, there is truth in every joke. However, I knew myself better than anyone else, and I feel like I have been successful, but life is crazy and there are times when I feel like tornadoes are ripping through! That's what this blog is for, to give you the blow-by-blow!

Seven Tornadoes:
Seven Tornadoes, the amount that my high school classmates predicted to sweep through the trailer park where I was supposedly going to end up with my seven children. What happened instead was I became a major overachiever, live in an actual house, and don't even have kids at the ripe old age of 26. It was all in fun and games, but there was always this underlying idea that I would just get married and settle down in Arkansas. However, I instead am a career woman, happily married to my soulmate and living in Florida. This blog is a collection of my journalist work, my personal musings, religious ramblings, and a little fun and games of my own in-between! My life is a whirlwind, I guess I couldn't keep all the tornadoes away!

Inspired!

2009-06-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

So, I haven't been in my "groove" for a while. You might have noticed since there have been fewer and fewer posts on our family blog (which, because Martin never gets on here, is really my blog) and the fact that poor Zoe and Sofya has gone to the wayside (though, feel free to blame Whitney on that one too, she hasn't blogged for months, that's right CALLING YOU OUT! :) However, be looking for a post on Zoe sometime today too! The song says, "Groove is in the Heart," and I really believe that's true. If your heart isn't in it, then it's not going to be as good without it!

So, a few updates on life and then some inspiring thoughts for a Sunday morning.

Updates:
Martin and I have officially changed churches. We had been thinking about this move for a while, it really isn't a reflection of our last church, just for me working through ordination, and Martin looking for a place that he really fit, we thought it would be better if we found a church that we could get behind and support, and one that was reaching outward instead of inward. So, we have started going to church at Community of Faith UMC. It's a drive for us, but we don't really mind that. They have a Saturday night service that we enjoy going to and then we take the rest of the night for "date night." We go to dinner or watch a movie after worship and it is the best feeling. The other great thing is that we get our Sundays to really be a a "Sabbath" time. This is really important to me because when I was working in the church Sunday was crazy busy and I never got a chance to really sit down and enjoy the world God has given us. COF is really servant driven, and they have been very supportive of HOME, so that's always a plus to have my workplace and my place of worship working together to serve all God's children. One thing I really like about them is that they are very "Wesleyan," they state that faith is a journey, not a destination, and I really believe that. We don't just stop once we proclaim our faith, we continue to grow, or as Wesley would have said, "continue on to perfection."

Inspiration:
Last night the sermon was about problems coming with growth. The sermon was more about growth in the church and the need for people to step in and help fill the needs of the congregation, but I saw it a little different. There has been a lot of growth happening in my life, and I have been just chugging along, not really focusing on anything. It's been forever since I have had regular devotional time (quiet time) and even longer since I sat down and wrote for myself (like this).

So, my new goal is to be more productive. If I can get back to starting my day focusing on myself, and who God wants me to be, and end my day in devotion and prayer time, then the "me" in the middle will be a more productive, peaceful being. I plan to write more, reflect more, and spend some time being still and knowing that God is real and powerful in my life. This is always an underlying thought for me, but I want to put it back front and center. I'd like to say that weight loss and taking care of my body will come with this, and I really hope it does, but I've made too many failed proclamations to say it again.

So, I woke up inspired this morning. Inspired to do all the work that's sitting on my To-Do list (personal, professional, and for friends). Inspired to remember that God is the time-keeper, and do things in his time and not mine. Inspired to go for more walks, and run a few more 5ks. Inspired to be more positive at work. Inspired to be a better wife to my husband (I cooked breakfast for him today, see already on a roll!) I want to inspire others, and get back to the place where Jesus shines on my face like the morning sun. So, pray for me, send positive energy my way, and get inspired too! If we are all inspired to be better people, then we will see a better world!

Quick Update

2009-05-25T22:27:00.000-04:00

Is it possible that it is almost June? I can't believe it! Things have been moving along really fast! I honestly can't remember March and April was so busy that it went by in a HUGE blur!

Update:
• Martin & I have booked our trip to Las Vegas and plan to go over our 5 year anniversary on July 24. We also plan to drive over to the Grand Canyon.
• I have finished all my classes for this semester and it looks like I will have a 4.0, however, there is a small chance of a B in Church History, and I care not!
• I decided not to take any classes this summer because I want to focus a little more on Martin and I and being together as a family. I feel like the last few months were such a blur, and I missed just hanging out!
• Work is still going great, May was still pretty busy, but it's slowed down a bit now and I've had time to focus on some of the "small" things that get pushed aside while planning events!
• June 4 Martin and I will celebrate 9 years together as a couple ... that's a long time! :)
• We went to visit Whitney and Graham (and Annie briefly) this weekend and had a great time. However, I weighed when I got home and saw on the scale the weight that I have never seen before ... so, back to yo-you dieting myself down to the place where I am still fat, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror.
• Martin and I ran our first 5k in late April, and had a great time! We haven't signed up to do another yet, but plan to. I need to get us on a real running schedule, but to do that I have to stop scheduling meetings after 6 p.m.

That's about it for now. Sorry it's been so long, and really, I know this wasn't the most informative blog, but I promise I will try to blog a lot more in the next few months!

New Blog for Spirituality

2009-03-26T21:14:00.000-04:00

So, a lot of times I discuss religious aspects of life on this blog.

Well, I'd like to invite those of you who are interested to check out a new blog that I will be contributing to, along with my best friend Whitney, dealing with life issues and spirituality. The blog will focus mainly on Christian principals, but we hope that we can have a discussion that is open to all peoples, no matter if they are a practicing Christian or not. So, please take a look at our new blog and share with your friends. It is geared more toward women in their 20s and 30s, but anyone is invited to join in on the discussion!

Here is the link: http://zoeandsofya.blogspot.com/

The blog is called Zoe & Sofya which means Life & Wisdom in Greek. We hope to provide wisdom for today's life issues in a loving and caring manner!

Check it out and please take a moment to comment on our first post (there are even discussion questions to get you started)!

The joys of Internet (at home!)

2009-03-26T07:45:00.000-04:00

Well, the battle has been fought, and we came out victorious! Yes, there is high-speed broadband internet at the casa de Downey!

It was a long and difficult process, that literally took months of my time, but last night at 7 p.m., we were able to actual access the internet from way out in the country of St. Cloud manor!

I don't even feel like going into all the annoying details (especially the part about having a Comcast tech at my home until nearly 1 in the morning) but, it's over with now and last night I was able to sit down and actually do my homework without having to go to the library for hours (St. Cloud library is really nice though, and has this great little study room!) I wrote all the papers that I have due for the next few weeks because I was able to actually do the research I needed. It was so refreshing!

Of course, Martin was ecstatic because he could finally update the Wii and download songs onto the Guitar Hero game, so that was exciting too. It seems to be really good service, I checked out You Tube and Netflix and both ran very smoothly.

So, finally I can start blogging again and really get back into updating.

I do want to blog more about Kelly's wedding but that will have to wait until later, I need to get ready for class!

Kelly's Wedding

2009-03-23T09:20:00.000-04:00

Here are a few slideshows. There will be more info about the wedding to come. It was absolutely beautiful and we had a great time ... I also got really dolled up and it was a great place for Martin to take some portraits of me ... more on all this later (including airbrush makeup). I haven't had time to format all photos, but you get the point! Also to see them better, click on the slide show :)

Enjoy!

When Jesus Turns Our World Upside Down

2009-03-16T09:53:00.000-04:00

*This is a sermon that was preached at FUMC-Kissimmee on March 15, 2009. This was the rough draft.*

Scripture Reading I: Exodus 20:1-17

The Ten Commandments

20Then God spoke all these words:

2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. ³

4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.⁵⁶

7 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

8 Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. For six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it. ⁹¹⁰¹¹

12 Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

13 You shall not murder.^*

14 You shall not commit adultery.

15 You shall not steal.

16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

17 You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.

Scripture Reading II: John 2:13-22

Jesus Cleanses the Temple

13 The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money-changers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, ‘Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a market-place!’ His disciples remembered that it was written, ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.’ The Jews then said to him, ‘What sign can you show us for doing this?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.’ The Jews then said, ‘This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?’ But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. ¹⁴¹⁵¹⁶¹⁷¹⁸¹⁹²⁰²¹²²

Sermon:

When I was in high sch ool back in Arkansas there was this great little place that some of my friends and I used to visit, we referred to it as "The Rock." In the foothills of the Ouachita Mountains is Lake Degray, and out on that lake, is a few little "cliffs." I say little cliffs because they aren't very high, but they are just high enough that if you find the right one, say one like "The Rock," then you can dive right off into the lake below. I loved going to the Rock, but getting there was never easy. It was located out in the woods pretty far back,

and there really wasn't a set path to it. I knew where the rock was, and I knew where the road to get back was, so I thought. One day at the Rock we realized we had forgotten to pick up stuff to have a bar-b-que, since I knew the way back to the car I offered to head back with a friend to go get the cook-out stuff. We began walking towards the car ... it was about 45 minutes later that we realized we had made a wrong turn.

Even though I knew the way perfectly, somehow I had gotten lost. I tell you this story because I think that sometimes when we read the scripture that was read today in John, we want to think that the temple sellers were bad people, I want to share with you today, that I think just to opposite, I think they were good people, who THOUGHT they knew the right way, but soon realized that in fact, they had been taking the wrong path all along. It started with "The Law."

Can you remember the first time you heard the ten commandments? Probably when you were a small child, probably about the time when you told your first lie, someone in you family might have said to you, "God doesn't like it when we lie," or "God says it's a no-no to take things that don't belong to us." The Law was given to us at a early age, and it was given to the Jewish people during Jesus' time at an early age as well, but it wasn't just the ten commandments that was read today that was given to the Jewish people to follow it was those plus the 603 or so other laws that you can find in Leviticus and Numbers. The people of the time KNEW the law, and they did everything they could to follow it to the best of their ability. That's the background that we have coming into Jesus' visit to the temple. People were simply following the law, in fact law number 482 under sacrifices, "To offer a sacrifice of varying value in accordance with one's means (Lev. 5:7), so when Jesus came in and started throwing tables around and demanding the people out who sold these sacrifices, you can imagine the people were outraged, in fact you could say that at that moment, Jesus had just turned their world upside down with every table he turned over!

What we would like to say as Christians, who know who Jesus was and is, is that the people got what they deserved, they should have realized that they were going down the wrong path, but hey, don't judge them, they've been following this path all their lives, how could they have known that they were going the wrong way. Maybe, the same way we often don't realize when we are going the wrong way today?

You see, going back to experience at the Rock, it wasn't that I didn't know the way, it's that I got distracted. I was talking to my friend, we were just going along just find, never noticing that maybe the path had shifted, we didn't forget the way, the way was always there, we ignored it. That's where we find the good people of the temple, the path didn't change, but there were so many laws, so many observances, that focusing on the path became less of the idea and focusing on the laws became more important. They stopped focusing on God and began to focus on "being Religious." When Jesus turned over the tables, he wasn't stating that these were bad people, he was just calling to their attention that the right path was in front of them and they were headed in the wrong direction.

How many times has that happened in our lives, when we stopped focusing on what's important? When did you start following the path toward salvation, was it when you were little and someone spoke to you the first of the ten commandments, was it an epiphany moment where you knew salvation was at hand, where did you go after that ... when was the last time Jesus turned your life upside down?

As some of you may know, I started seminary this Spring at Asbury , and man is it fun! I am learning so much about the Methodist church and the path that those of us who are Methodist have taken to become Methodists. My favorite class is John Wesley's Theology for Today. John Wesley, is of course, the Anglican Church leader who decided that the church he attended path was becoming a bit too legalistic and began to explore other options, in that exploration the Methodist Way began. I like how he looks at our paths in his order of salvation. According to Wesley, salvation from original sin begins with justification, continues in sanctification and ends with glorification or in layman's terms or how some theologians today like to refer to it, awaking, attaching, advancing and assuring. I think that the journey when we encounter Jesus is in that awaking moment.

When was your awaking? Was it on that path when you were first told the Ten Commandments? Think about that ... look at this chart and try to imagine where each one has or will happen for your life. Now, here is the kicker, John Wesley didn't believe that this was a step-by-step process, in fact, he believed that you could walk down the path many many times. God desires us to be aware of him OVER and OVER again — the journey continues. Often times it continues with Jesus turning our world upside down. Here are some good examples, last week Pastor Scott preached on Nicodemas, a Pharisee, his awareness came when he learned the Jewish law, and he became aware again when he asked Jesus how we must be born again, Paul, another great Jewish leader, was very aware of God, was following the path, and then BAM! Jesus appears on the road to Damascus and turns his world UPSIDE DOWN ... want some more modern examples, CS Lewis, didn't believe in God, found religion to be too full of laws and rules, until he had an encounter with Jesus and was "Surprised by Joy." These are all good examples of people who have had their lives turned upside down by Christ, and continued to let him do so.

Often times, we find ourselves on our own path. We think we have been going the right way all along, until something happens, if like me, you notice the trees don't look the same, or like Paul, you have lost your vision completely, or like John Wesley, you find that the denomination you have loved all your life has become too ritualistic, you might be having an encounter with God. Becoming aware again of who you are, looking down the path and examining, is this where God wants me to be, have I been focusing on him, or have I just been following the way, because that's the way I've always gone. Where have you already encountered Jesus and you missed it because you were taking your own path, was it in the homeless woman that you met at the grocery store who was buying food for her kids, and you were in a hurry and only noticed that it was taken her WAY too long to count out the change, did you meet Jesus on your path when your boss came to you visibly upset and you didn't bother to ask what's wrong because you were too worried about all the things YOU had to get done that day? What about when that small child looked at you and asked you to play outside, and you said, no, did you miss Jesus simply because you didn't bother to look?

Don't stop looking for God at the first awareness, don't forget to become aware again after you have found sanctification, but instead, keep pushing forward. Open your eyes to the road around you, REALLY listen to the people you meet along the way, take a moment to smile, enjoy the scenery and make sure that you are on the path that is focused on Christ, and not on anything else. And, if you find that the path has shifted, and you have you lost your way to "The Rock,," remember the words of Jesus in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth and the life." The pathway is there, we simply must open our eyes, look for the signs, and let Jesus turn our world upside down once again.

Let's pray: Thank you gracious and holy God for your son Jesus Christ. Thank you that you have given us his examples and his words to follow as we walk down the paths of life. Lift our eyes up to you and give each one of us the assurance that you want us to become aware of you again, and again, and again. Amen.

The Dog Did It!

2009-03-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

My Dog ate my internet. Allow me to explain. The last few weeks have been SO busy, I feel like I have gone non-stop through the month of February and I can't believe that it's already the middle of March, so many things have been going on that I can't remember the last time I slowed down. However, that's honestly, how I like it. I enjoy being overbooked, I find it to be one of the major challenges in life and if you can do 500 things at once, I think it's really a God-given gift to do so.

Usually, I have no problem overbooking myself, until the dog ate the internet. Yes, I was busy, so when I got up Thursday morning at 6 a.m. to do my homework and finished it at 8 a.m.to rush to get ready and drive off to class, I didn't think about the small connector that usually is plugged into my computer that had fallen onto the floor (or laid out on the table). I must have missed it, I am usually really good at putting things away, but this time, it didn't happen that way. I went to class, and then came home to find my nice little USB Connector, chewed to pieces, not only that, but Sawyer (the pup) seemed so happy to have me home, that I couldn't very well punish him when he's so cute and sweet, and really he didn't know what he'd done wrong.

What he did, was have me in a fit! I called AT&T first, to find out how much it would be to replace it, right away they reminded me that I didn't bother to buy insurance on the precious port and it would be $300 to replace it. I promptly hung up with them since I already knew it would only cost $125 to cancel the service. I then called my old friends at Comcast, now what most of you probably don't know, is that because we live in a cul de sac in St. Cloud, this apparently means that we are not allowed to have internet service (because they are too lazy to lay down our lines). However, Comcast has sworn to me that they can and will get us internet, so I called them to see if it was available yet.

They first scheduled me for an appointment for Friday from 4-7, so I went to work, ran some errands and was back at the house by 4 p.m. ... 7 came and went and they were a no show. I called and they had conveniently moved my appointment without telling me to Saturday from 10-12 ... I was at work, but checked in with Martin and found that at noon they still had not come. I called and they had rescheduled for 11-2 p.m. According to Martin someone from Comcast showed up around 2:30 to "look" at our lines. Come to find out, Comcast had done some work toward getting us internet, but they needed to have tech come out and look at the wiring. We were told to expect the tech before 5 p.m. The tech showed up at 4:30 to tell us that actually, a contractor would need to come out and have a look. So now, it's Thursday and there has been no word from Comcast. I called Tuesday morning just to get an update, and of course there was no record of ANYONE coming out to talk to me and alas, my service has been discontinued. SO, some customer service woman told me she would have the contractor supervisor call me back ... yeah, we all know that's happened.

So, if the blog updates are less frequent don't blame me ... blame the Dog!

Work/Life/School/Church/Facebook Balance

2009-03-02T22:36:00.000-05:00

I logged into Facebook tonight. Not because I wanted to social network, but because I wanted to disconnect my blog from my account. I decided that updating my account through blogger was still a form of social communication, and so I decided I needed to fix the problem. However, I was very good, I logged in, went straight to my import options and disconnected my feed. I did not read one person's status or check my messages or see what sort of notifications I had. I wonder at what point Facebook stops notifying you or your notifications, because I have a feeling that number is going to get very high.

In all honesty it hasn't been that hard to give up the social networking, I have been so busy with work and school that I would barely have time to log on anyway. I didn't get home from work tonight until nearly 9:30 and this has been my routine for the past few days. I have been having some trouble sleeping too at night, so I've been using that time to catch up on work stuff (mostly e-mails at 1 in the morning, sorry guys with the blackberrys :). It hasn't been that difficult to manage my time, but I do know where my priorities lie, and it's not really with school.

School is getting the back burner of my time, and I'm okay with that. I recently had to write a paper for my church history course, I didn't give it as much time as I had wanted, and if I had been grading myself, I would have given myself a C. It was a C paper for me, I knew it, but it was really all I could give it. I got my grade and feedback today, not only did I make an A, but I made an actual 100%, I don't know that I even made a 100% on anything I did in my first Masters, so great job Henderson State for preparing me to write papers that would get a C in Truth, Order and Beauty that gets an A everywhere else! I guess I was more prepared than I thought. However, a test is coming up in there, and I haven't read half of the materials to take it, but we get to use our notes so I will be making myself a nice study guide before I open that test! So, I think I'm going to be okay with school. I do know that next semester if I take this many hours I will do it all from online. Going to class takes a big toll on my time (especially away from work). I have a great and understanding office, but I don't like getting in the office so late. I think that I will try to only take one class on campus per semester.

However, I do love the classes that I am in. John Wesley's Theology for Today is a great class and I am learning so much! When I am in class I really feel like I am where I'm supposed to be, I understand John Wesley, I see what he sees, I am a Methodist to the core. The thing I love about John Wesley is that when his Bishop asked him to find a church and "settle down," which basically meant, stop stepping on other people's perishes, John Wesely responded, "The World is my Parish." This is so what I am about. It's not that I don't want to itinerate (be moved from one church to another) but that I believe that my work belongs outside of the church, that the world truley is my parish. Class has already helped me better define my call, so I am looking forward to my next Ordained Ministry review because I am really starting to articulate better why I want to be a Deacon working in the World.

My other class that meets weekly is Worship Leadership. I really enjoy this class, but I didn't think I would. I really disliked worship planning when I was working for the church. I was always so stressed that things weren't perfect and that some stupid mistake that I had made, hindered someone else's worship. There was a lot of pressure for worship to go smoothly and sometimes I think I put more pressure on myself than was nescessary. I thought this would come out in Worship Leadership. But, really I am learning more about why we do the things we do in worship, why we pray what we pray, why we gather the way we do. It's really fasicnating stuff that dates back to when God called the people to worship him outside of Mt. Siani.

Work is going really well, but we are down two in the office (Yay for babies!). We have been working on a strong intiative to have a volunteer base, and we did our first training tonight. I had planned the training to last 45 minutes, it was 2 hours. Basically because the volunteers wanted to ask questions and share ideas, and they were so excited that I didn't mind that it was nearly 9 when I left the office. It was good seeing people in the community reaching out and being willing to help those who are in need! I think this is going to be really exciting and I can't wait to see what great things we are going to do! We also have some really great events coming up that I plan to spend most of the week working on. I basically took my google calandar and scheduled me time for just about every thing that needs to be done. I've followed it pretty well, but I think I should schedule myself naps so I don't feel guilty taking one when I was going to read Church History (which at times gets so boring that IT puts me to sleep! : )

I suppose that's it for now, just an update on my goal to "perfect work/life balance." So far, so good.

As a pastor I heard recently say as his benediction and I LOVED IT ... PEACE OUT!

What I'm gaining ... not giving up!

2009-02-25T09:44:00.000-05:00

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." (Matthew Chapter 4:1-3)

For the past seven years I have observed the 40 days before Easter as a time of sacrifice in my life. In the Christian liturgical year this time is referred to as Lent. Growing up in the Baptist church, we were never really acquainted with the Lenten period, so it wasn't until I began going to the Methodist Church, and eventually becoming a Methodist that I realized how important this season of the Christian year is.

Many people think that Lent is strictly about "giving something up," but in all reality it is actually about what we gain. It is not simply making a sacrifice, but taking the time that would normally be dedicated to the sacrificed action to be a time of prayer and reflection on the blessings you do have in life. Sometimes, when I have observed Lent, I have not done this part, simply because I did not understand that it was required of me, or because I was not spiritually disciplined enough to do so. I have "given up" several things for Lent— beef and eating out at restaurants to name a few, but I have never scheduled a Lent celebration in a way that I could actually use my sacrificed time to dedicate to God in a tangible way.

So, this year, I have decided to forgo social networking. Beginning today, I will no longer frequent Facebook or Myspace (and I just realized Twitter, so much for updates from my pregnant friends!). I really struggled if to include blogger in this as well, but decided that it was necessary because 1. I can use it as a way to communicate WHY I am dedicating myself to this task, 2. We keep a blogger account for my company and it is part of my job to update it and I didn't want to make things difficult there and 3. My blogger is connected to my facebook account, so my facebook friends can at least be notified through my blogger posts that I am alive and well. : )

However, I will not be simply "giving up" social networking, I will be replacing it. I have decided that every time I am bored and want to check out what folks are doing, I will use this time on the net to read Christian resources, I will visit Bible Gateway, The Christian Century, or Christianity Today or maybe I'll do some studies on other religions and take a tour of beliefnet, but overall I will trade my social networking time and instead make it focused on God. I also encourage my friends and family on facebook and myspace to call me. I will not be answering your messages on my wall or little notes, and I still want to know what's happening in your life. As one of my Facebook friends put it, "The real world is better anyway," and I agree, I would much rather talk to you than a one-liner on a social networking site!

When Jesus was in the desert, he was hungry, and I know there will be times when I simply want to "check" my account. Be it to see how many apps I have been nominated for, or if I have any Friend Requests, but I won't. Lent is not about what I am giving up ... it's what I am gaining — a sense of peace, a more intimate way to communicate with friends, and finally a closer relationship with the one who gave himself up — the least I can do is return a small part of the favor.

Tonight is the Ash Wednesday service at most Methodist and Catholic Churches, and I will be attending. Once the ash cross makes its way onto my brow the season begins and it's Peace out Facebook, Twitter and Myspace — See you on Easter!

My Writing

2009-01-22T13:56:00.001-05:00

I have decided that my blog doesn't exactly demonstrate my great writing skills. Yes, I have okay things to say, but I have some really good stuff out there that most of you haven't read and I'd like to share it with you. So for the next few blogs, I will post past articles I have written for my freelance job with the Florida United Methodist Annual Conference E-Review. I will also post future articles here as well.

This will give you a chance to critique my writing style and give me advice on what I could be doing better as a writer. Through just the blog, not so much ...

But, don't worry! There will still be lots of fun updates on life on here as well, I just want a chance to share some of my "professional" work.

Also, I would love for you all to see what I've been doing with graphic design, you can look at my work on my online portfolio.

Puppies & Babies

2009-01-19T14:07:00.000-05:00

My Poor Puppy
We had a pretty scary weekend at the Downey household. As most of you know we got Sawyer about a year ago, Mom got him for us for Christmas. Since we don't have kids yet, Sawyer gets a lot of our attention and most of the time he is a pretty good dog (he has a few issues, eating toilet tissue, nipping our legs when he wants to play). So, we knew something was up with him when he got up on Saturday morning and didn't want to play. At about 4 a.m. Saturday morning he asked to go outside, I didn't think much about it, sometimes he gets up REALLY early, so I didn't pay attention to what was going on while he was doing his business. By 7 a.m. he was still laying around the house and not wanting to play at all. That's when he started throwing up. We called the vet around 11 a.m. because he was having issues from both ends, and we really didn't know what to do with him. They said to keep an eye on him and take him to the emergency vet if he got worse ... he got worse. We took him into the emergency vet and they taught us a very important lesson. Since Sawyer wasn't eating or drinking, we thought, just like a child, that he was getting dehydrated, so we encouraged him to suck on some ice chips. This was the wrong thing to do, apparently dogs make themselves throw up even more if they get more liquid in their bodies, so we were only making to problem worse. The vet inserted a disolvable IV pouch in Sawyer's back and gave him two shots and sent us home with some pills to stop the vommitting and coat his stomach. We stayed home with him all day Sunday to make sure he was doing better, and he had a few issues, but I could tell he was getting better. He seems fine today, we are supposed to keep giving him his medicine and feeding him small meals, but he was wanting to play this morning, so that's a really good sign. The whole ordeal really made me think about how important Sawyer has become to Martin and I. Sawyer has made us a little family. He is fun, sweet, and makes us laugh at least three times a day. I wanted a small dog because they live longer, and I wanted to make sure that he was going to be around for the long haul. Those of you who don't have a family pet may not understand, I wouldn't go as far as seeing Sawyer like a child, but he is this small little being that relies on us to take care of him. Sawyer needs us to feed him, make sure he has water, take him out to potty, and provide a warm place for him to rest. When he was sick, I felt like how I would imagine a newborn's mother would have felt ... he can't talk to me, he can't tell me what's wrong, all I know is that something IS wrong and he's relying on me to make it all better. Martin made the comment at the vet that we better make sure to get a dang good insurance plan for our kids when we have them, because if this is how we are going to be with the dog, then imagine how it's going to be with a baby. I don't worry too much about that though, I've been around babies, I am pretty good at figuring out what they need ... dogs on the other hand I'm still learning!

In other news
Martin and I have been going strong on Weight Watchers. I'm really proud of us. Ususally on a diet we make it about three weeks and then give up. So ... we just passed the three week mark. Pray for us that we can keep this going, I had a moment of weakness this week and wanted nachos like the world had ended! I looked up my favorite nachos and found out that they are 107 WW points. Those of you who do WW know that's almost a full week of points in one meal! Last night I made my own version of nachos for a mere 14 points ... and amazingly it filled the spot (thanks to Cara for forcing me to rethink my options and dragging ME to the gym! ;)! Keep us in your thoughts as we continue this journey. I would like to be at our goal weight by June when we go to Las Vegas. We've been thinking a lot about the right time to have kids, and I want to make sure I am healthy when that happens. I've been wavering lately about when that might be. I have had a pretty strong case of baby fever (thanks in part to Cara and Stephanie being so cute and pregnant at the office) but the last few weeks I've noticed that wain a little. I know things will be great when we have kids, but lately I've been thinking about a lot of things that I would still like to do with Martin before we change our life! We'll see how I feel after those cute little boys are born at the office and I see how sweet a baby is again, but right now, I think I'll stick to being a mama to a sweet little boy named Sawyer Pup!

Great Movie Moments!

2008-11-27T18:55:00.000-05:00

This is a video Martin made to document our move to the new house!

What's new?

2008-11-17T20:28:00.000-05:00

First off, I have to tell you what I great time I had while my mom was in a few weeks back! We hung out a lot, Mom helped me finish up some work for ordination and we went to Disney World.

I love going to DW with my mom. It makes me feel like a kid again and when we ride the Mad Hatter Cups I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be than riding that ride with her! I ate and ate at the food and wine festival and Mom tried all kinds of foreign food. I was sad to see her go, but I'm glad we got that chance to hang out!

In other news, Martin and I are having a fight right now. We just bought BEAUTIFUL new furniture to go in our gorgeous house and great bookshelves to work as a entertainment center. However, he wants to put his childhood toys out on the bookshelves in our living room, and I want to keep things a little more "grown up." I guess that's the big difference between us, I want things to be really in "place" while Martin loves things that make him feel attached (like collectible Ghostbusters cars, which is cool and all, but I don't really want it in my living room!) I have given him the office, but that doesn't seem to be a very good consolation prize! Martin is currently gripping because I have a complaint that we always do what he wants to do, which is true, but he claims it's the other way around. Now, he's making fun of my snow village for Christmas. I have a mean husband. :(

However, I guess I should give in a little. We did just get great new furniture. In all my life I can't ever remember owning a couch that didn't come from a garage sale or used store (maybe my mom can clear this up for me) but especially since we have been married, we have owned nothing that was actually "ours." Our table is a hand-me-down from friends (who had passed it around a few times before we got it), our coffee table was made by my step-dad (which I love because it's so unique and beautiful, but it's not new), we bought our bed from Craigslist (which seems creepy at first, but you stay in hotels don't you? And, you don't get a chance to Lysol that bed before you crawl in it!) So, this purchase is really the first thing we have bought for the house that is "new!" We got a great deal at Big Lots (which I love!) We got the couch, recliner and lounger for under $600. It's really pretty and I love the way it looks.

In other news I had my first big event at work and I'm pretty happy with it. I didn't have a whole lot of time to plan, but overall it went pretty well. I really enjoy what I'm doing, but I wish I could slowly back away from the church. They are still killing me there! I'm the chair of evangelism, on the administrative council, stewardship team and teaching Disciple II. It's really awkward and weird and I really wish I could just take a break, but people keep insisting that I be there, it's really quite tiring. I guess it's good for me, I have my big ordination interview this coming Thursday and I'm super nervous. It can either go great, or I can fail, those are the options, so I guess I should deal with it!

On another note ... cable news is stupid! I have been watching Cambell Brown during this blog and 95 percent of the show was other news networks work (CBS Barack Obama interview, some lady on Good Morning America), man up CNN, DO SOME REAL WORK. Cable news is one of the reasons I didn't want to go into journalism full time, when the top job is to work for cable news that steals from the poor working journalist, it's just sickening!

Anywho, I've been reading this great book about Fertility (Taking Charge of Your Fertility) and learning all kinds of gross details about my body that Martin asks me to never share with him again. Kids are still a little ways away, but when we get ready I want to know what's going on with my body. It's been interesting to see the way God made our body with signs to teach us about our natural cycle. I would recommend every woman to read this book just so you can know these crazy facts! I also want to get my body in better shape before we get to popping out babies, like working out more and taking a vitamin (which I'm getting really used to). I'm going to join the local civic center and get better in shape so that I don't gain a thousand pounds when I finally do get pregnant.

Wow, so this blog has been all over the place tonight. Martin has since made up with me and removed the offending Ghostbuster Car and is now watching WWE in his new recliner. Life is good, and if new furniture and kids toys is all we've got to complain about then I guess it's all gonna be okay.

Ps. Sawyer says hi and he LOVES the new lounger chair. I also realized that I didn't blog at all about the election, but you all should know by now how excited I am to have Barack Obama as our new President-Elect! We had an election night party and it was a blast!

A World of HOPE!

2008-10-01T23:48:00.001-04:00

The last six months of my life have not been the easiest. To be honest, there were some days that I was so fed up, so tired, so out of hope that I didn't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I was overwhelmed in a job that put a lot of pressure on me to preform at a level that was beyond ANYONE'S ability. I was questioning God and my faith because ordination was going well, but as more and more things came to light, I knew I could not work in the local church. I was working through a long-overdue conversation with myself regarding forgiveness and truth when my Father passed away in March. And, I was house-hunting.

Late summer brought deliverance to my family and I want to offer praise to God for that deliverance. I gave my notice at First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee on July 31, 2008 with a heavy heart, but I was moving towards my call and my true passion. After a great trip home to Arkansas to visit my family, I began working at HOME on Aug. 8 as the Development Associate. I can honestly say that I adore my new job! We are a small non-profit working to break the cycle of homelessness in Osceola County. I am all public relations, all the time. I get to do all the things I love (designing newsletters, graphics, websites) and keep speaking in front of people about a topic that I am super passionate about, homelessness. What's amazing is that this job fits perfectly into my ordination track (as a Deacon, we are dedicated to serving God through working in the world). I have a great boss and I really admire the whole staff because they are all very talented and amazing women! It's honestly my dream job and I hope to be there for a really long time.

This fall has also brought deliverance. Deliverance from the world of hopelessness when searching for a home for Martin and I. Wouldn't it just glorify God that we would close on a house in less than two weeks, a house that someone in our Bible study told us about, on the day (September 30, 2008) after the market crashed 777 (yeah, anyone else notice the perfect number there)?

The new house is amazing, it is brand new, it's out in the "sticks" as someone put it at church and it's the perfect size to raise a (future) family. I can't wait to get moved in and settled!

It's been a hard six months, in fact, it's been a tough two years. I know that times will not always be easy. In fact, one of my friends suggested I delete my earlier, depressing blogs from Myspace. But, I don't want to do that. I want the reminder there. The knowledge that I have been tested and that at the end of the trial, God Provided.

I know that many people have problems with faith, and sometimes it's hard to understand why people are so faithful to a God that they can not see or understand. But, for me, faith comes easy. Because, I have been tested, and I've come out stronger. I know that my God provides in ways that I would have never imagined. It is not because of who I am that God has provided but because of who he makes me to be.

Isaiah 40:26-31

26Lift up your eyes on high and see the stars:
Who created these?
He who brings out their host and numbers them,
calling them all by name;
because he is great in strength,
mighty in power,
not one is missing.

27Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
‘My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God’?

28Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

29He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
30Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;

31but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.

Fun Times...

2007-10-30T21:22:00.000-04:00

Fun times are upon us. I just got back from a mall where I met WWE announcers Jim Ross (JR) and Lillian Garcia. They were very nice and were in town to promote Wrestlemania 24 tickets going on sale. Wrestlemania will take place on March 30th at the Citrus Bowl and tickets go on sale Saturday.I plan to have mine on Thursday from the presale.The bottom line is... come Sunday,there won't be a ticket left. I'm looking forward to it, but I won't weight the entire blog down with wrestling.

Earlier today I had my one year evaluation with my company and in addition to saying very nice things about me, they decided to give me a raise. I was expecting a small raise, but this was a bit more, so that was nice! More than anything, it makes me feel justified in moving here.
My only complaint about work was the pay and since that area looks to be improving, I'm happy all the way around.
Last Thursday we embarked on a road trip to North Carolina to see Whitney and Graham and attend their Halloween party. Mary and I went as Wario and Princess Peach. The party itself was fun, but I think we had more fun just hanging out with them. We wish we could have stayed longer, but thats the way work is sometimes. We got a break from the ever beautiful tropical weather here and experienced "real" weather up there. It felt nice to be in a cool rain.
It made me miss home a little, but then I remember that those cool rains turn cold and last for months... Mary and I really enjoyed the time together on the road as well. It helped us refresh our batteries and feel even more connected to each other. We made a stop off in Jacksonville on our way back to hang out with Annie and Billy, or Bannie. Annie was kind enough to make us supper and we watched her Sox destroy the Rockies. I didn't want to leave there either, but we carried on and made it home safe. This was our second trip to Annie A's apartment. On our first we ended up going to the beach, playing some games, and watching Florida get beat by Kentucky. Also a fun time.

This weekend we also plan to see the Abbots, as they come visit us for the weekend. We decided to hold off a bit on taking Annie to the Happiest Place on Earth. We will probably do that next month so Bannie can see the Christmas deco. However, we will try to find some drinks and fun around that area this weekend.

Speaking of drinks, we went out last
Wednesday night to celebrate Krystal's 21st B-day with some of the BWP crew. It was an interesting night of birthday cake, panhandlers, and the backseat of our car never being the same again... We'll just leave it at that... If you want to know more, just ask...

Well, I think I have fulfilled my contractual obligation and have run out of things to write about. Holla.

Martin

The first for our "Family" Blog

2007-10-12T21:37:00.000-04:00

So, we stole this idea from Annie and Billy, but we think it's a great one.

Since we each have separate MySpace accounts, no one really knows what's going on with us as a family (and because Martin hasn't blog in over a year). So here is the place where you can come and check up on us and how we are doing in Florida.

It's been over a year since we have moved here, and we both just celebrated our one year anniversaries at our jobs. They are both going okay, Martin's better than Mary's, but at least they continue to pay the bills.

We celebrated Martin's 26th birthday by going to Disney World to the food and wine festival at Epcot. We also rode the newly refurbished Haunted Mansion, and it freakin' rocks!

We had a great time eating 'around the world.' We stopped off in Chili first, and ate some amazing food, we also made it a point to try some countries that we didn't try last year, like Turkey and Japan. We have always wanted to try sushi, and we have been told by EVERYONE that it tastes amazing, but we tried to eat it one time at HSU's Food Bazaar and almost puked! But, we figured since this was Disney, we wouldn't get food poisoning, so we picked up a Sushi California Roll in Japan! And to tell you the truth, we both really liked it! It tastes a good on it's own, but add a little soy sauce, and well, we liked it so much we thought about buying some tonight when we were grocery shopping!

In other news, we have also joined a kickball league. Now, most of you know that neither of us were ever really into organized sports, but we thought kickball would be a fun way to hang out with our friends, and maybe do a little exercising. Oh, and did we mention that we also are "required" to hang out in the official kickball bar? Yeah, so there's a little socializing going on as well. We had a "Graffiti Party" at the bar the week before last, and our friend Krystal made my shirt look awesome! Martin is our team coach, and we had our first game last night. We played the league president's team, so we weren't too disappointed to lose 4-0. We had a great time! And, we have sworn we won't lose again. We practice on Sunday afternoons, so maybe we will rock the next game!

We are so excited that Annie and Billy have moved down here, it's going to be so much fun hanging out with them and playing board games again. They are still three hours away, but hey, at least it's not seventeen! We are going to Whitney & Graham's for Halloween weekend, they are having their annual party, and for the first time we are going to get to go! It's great that we have made some new friends down here, but nobody takes the place of our people from home (Whit, Annie, Brandon, Adam). Then there's family. We really miss hanging out with our parents and our siblings. It's amazing but you never realize how much you love your sisters, brothers (in laws) until you can't just show up at their house and make them cook for you. We have both been a little homesick lately and have really been missing our mamas (and Nick and Brad). : ) But, we know we will see everyone at least by Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Speaking of, Martin's parents are coming for Thanksgiving and so are Annie and Billy! I can't wait to have a full house for Thanksgiving, and then we will be home three days after Christmas to see everyone else. But, we would LOVE to have people come visit before then, I really wish it was cheaper for everyone to get down this way. But, at least we have the internet and the telephone!

Well, guess that's all for now, feel free to leave comments and such at the bottom, we will TRY our best to update this page weekly so that everyone will know what's going on with us! Love you all and hope to see (anyone!) soon!

Love,
Mary & Martin